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Join Now Constancy to Purpose by dobbywarnshryptr
 
dobbywarnshryptr
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Birth Date: Wed, Apr 26 1989

Place of residence:
Mesa AZ, United States (map)

I am: Single & Not Dating

Schools: Carl Sandburg High School; Northern Illinois University; Glendale Community College; The Art Institute of Phoenix

Jobs: White Castle; Jamba Juice; PA&T Insurance; Sonic; Delivering Flyers For ADT/RSVP Security


Certificates:
Tools Program Stats:
Member Since: 09/07/08
Last Login: 01/29/10
Viewed: 15390
Program in:
Program Progress: Day 42
dobbywarnshryptr's Challenges:

dobbywarnshryptr's Participating:
PFR Challenge
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I Want To See:
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Tools Goal List:

Areas In My Life I Want To Work On

I Want To Quit Or Control

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I Suffer From

dobbywarnshryptr's Life List:
Join the peace corp.
Live in a completely enviornmentally friendly home.
Stick to a steady exercise regime. To always be continually active.
Use my time wisely. Don't sit around when I know there are things to do.
When there is an opportunity to accel, don't say I'll wait til next time.
Don't think so much, just do.
Bring drumming back into my life as a hobby, not a chore, for myself, not for others.
Get a job.
Once I get a job, save as much money as I can for a year & find a place in L.A. No unneccessary spending!!! Ask myself why/if I need this.
Don't complain. Know that I can't control other's actions but I can take control of mine, have the best intentions & be confident in my decisions. Take responsibility for myself, not others. Stop letting people rely on me. It's just a distraction/procratination from my own responsibilites. It's not being greedy, it's having boundaries. Learn how to rely on myself.
Study motorcycle handbook & get my permit.
Use the computer only as neccessary. Don't waste unproductive hours on it accomplishing nothing.
Don't take things to heart. Realize that other people's opinions are really about themselves, not you. Grow a thick skin. What is the purpose of shrinking just because I want everyone to like me. I will never be liked by everyone. Get rid of the people I have to try to be liked by & stick with the people I'm naturally liked by. What sense does it make to keep someone in my life that likes me because I'm altering who I am. The sooner I can train my instincts to realize this, the better off I'll be. It's nothing personal, it's just the way people click.
Master time-management. I know I can do it.
When a situation calls for a few extra steps than anticipated, don't try to make it work without the needed steps. THAT ONLY TAKES LONGER WHEN I REALIZE IT WON'T WORK & I HAVE TO TAKE THE EXTRA STEPS ANYWAYS!!!
Go to school & get a degree.
Work in movie production.
Learn how to remain internally peaceful in the most stressful situatioins.

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Constancy to Purpose

 

 

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dobbywarnshryptr

  dobbywarnshryptr

Sun, Sep 27 08:31 PM

Constancy to Purpose

 

I'm in Chicago for this week.  I feel like I'm opening new pages to a book & writing new stories to what, at one time, I thought had an inevitably tragic ending.

 

I have all these different surges of emotions & it's hard.  It's actually hard to be happy when I'm happy.  I'm not used to it & instead of just being depressed & anxious all the time I'm coming out of it & it's almost more difficult to handle the constant ups & downs than it is to just stay set in my old habits.  Don't get me wrong, even though it's difficult, that doesn't mean that I'm not enjoying myself when I am happy.

 

Socializing is something I'm dealing with here.  I'm visiting all my old friends & it's so hard for me to behave & function like a normal person.  I feel like this switch goes off & programs me to awkward mode when I socialize.  My negative thoughts in social situations are really bad & beat me down.  This is just another battle I don't feel prepared to fight.  I totally envy the people that are so comfortable with themselves that it makes you comfortable.  I want that so bad.

 

All this anxiety is creating strong urges that are hard to sit with.  It's mostly in my stomach.  When I don't act on thoughts, this long deep feeling in my stomach pulls me down.  It feels like it's pulling on my heart & my breathing gets shorter.  I haven't actually not given into my urges, but I'm acting differently than I would if I let them take over.  Like I just went to sleep when it started getting bad.  Another time I talked to someone after I started with behaviors & I was able to discontinue them.

 

Right now it's pretty bad.  It's interfering with my concentration & at one point I had to just bury my head in my arms to shut up my thoughts.

 

One thing I definitely like about visiting is that all the things I have to do don't have such a chore feeling about them.  It doesn't seem like there's a timeline to get things done.  Probably because I'm not sitting in my apartment looking at the life I have to build.

 

I've missed a few days on Tools because of some major anxiety.  Initially, it felt like everything I've done on here was ruined because I missed some days, but now I kind of see that nothings ruined unless I give up.  It's subtle, but I can see that my mindset is different & that's what's important for these days that I miss.  If I can keep my mindset moving the right way, even when I miss days, everything will continue to fall in place & hopefully my consistency will get better.

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Your title is better LOL

Coming at you in.. PINK LOL looks pink to me.

 

Really pink now. Enough about text colour though. I am loving the analogy to writing stories.

 

 As you are in essence writing the book of your life everyday. The beauty is that it can be an adventure, a comedy, a romance with a little suspense...

 

I have to reset the color after I hit enter for some reason mabye a foxfire thing?

You are starting to feel more like the author of your life now rather than some character headed for tragedy! There will be tragic events in all our lives. With the right writing the story can still move forwards with love and grace!

Sending you a hug Sending you a hug and big SMILE@U