I grew up in Muskegon, Michigan, the youngest of 5 children.  We were not wealthy by any stretch of the imagination, but mom kept us fed and clothed, even sewing our clothing.  My dad never wanted kids (this I found out later in life) and I don't ever remember feeling like I belonged anywhere during childhood.  Dad had a terrible temper, and I witnessed a lot of abuse during my growing up years.  The good thing that came out of that is that he was intelligent, and I at least inherited some of that.   I am only emotionally attached to one brother who is 3 years my senior, 2 I have no contact with, and the oldest brother I have limited contact.  This has left an indelible stamp of distrust of the human race in general.   When I do finally let someone into my world, I care about them 150% and if they need my help, I am there.  Mom divorced dad when I was 13, and I moved to Traverse City, MI.  My mom's parents lived here, and for me it was a dream come true, and that is when my life truly began.  I met my husband when I was 17.  He was 24.  His mom became the mom I never had.  We lost her 5 years ago to a stroke, and I still grieve for her.  The upside to that is that she doesn't have to live with her husband anymore.   A year ago (was it only a year??) we had my father-in-law removed from his home and had to settle his affairs and put him in assisted living.   It was hell.  In July of this year, we moved him to a smaller, less institutionalized home and he is doing well.   He started drinking after his wife passed away.  I have a new name for ambulances.  Meals-On-Wheels with Sirens.   It was hard selling the house that had over the years become an anchor in my life.  But without my mother-in-law, the soul was gone.  We still have to deal with my father-in-law, as my husband is his durable power of attorney.  First we were walking whiskey bottles, and now we (in his eyes) are walking ATMs.    He was diagnosed with dementia.  He's very abusive towards my husband, and as I don't have to deal with him, and I know he is safe and being cared for, I will keep my distance.  My advice to anyone out there who has a loved one that's "off" is to seek a geriatric clinic. 

My future.  I think that is what I'm here on this website for.  To figure that out.  What do I want out of my life?  How do I go about getting it?  Do I want to stay working at home?  What do I want to be when I grow up?? LOL.  I hope to explore ME on this website and find out who I am, because admist all the turmoil over the years, I feel like I don't know me anymore.  I also want to drop that generic distrust of the human race and reach out.  My support system is very limited because of my distrust, this I recognize.  It's not a good place.  It needs to change.  My favorite saying is, "If you don't like what you're getting, change what your are doing."  Looks like it's time I take my own advice.