Most of my life I have struggled with my weight, despite working out and eating right. When I was 16, I was diagnosed with PCOS, a disease that causes infertility and constant pain. This has made me feel unable to be a real woman. I have feared losing my husband because of this. I have low self-esteem. I never feel like I deserve anything. When I was 16, I tried to commit suicide. I was 19 when I met a guy who was very abusive to me. He used me for money for a few years, he always told me I was unattractive and he never wanted to touch me. I started to believe him, and I have become damaged because of it, even though my husband treats me well and tells me everyday I am beautiful. I want to lose weight, gain self-esteem and be the beautiful person outside that I know I am inside.

I was brought up in a two parent household. My parents struggled for years to make ends meet, and we often went without things. I never had the cool clothes, or new things, but despite this,I had a very happy childhood. When I was 21, I met my husband. I never felt I deserved him as he is so amazing. Two weeks before my wedding, my mother died. I was so devastated, I barely got out of bed for weeks. We got married anyways, but I didn't feel joy. I am infertile, my chances of having a child is about 4%. I have miscarried once, and that was devastating. I gave up alcohol, because I was becoming an alcoholic. I have always loved music, but I never pursued it because I don't feel talented enough to make it. I was diagnosed with Mitral Valve Prolapse in March. 

I would like to lose weight, become a mother, and gain more money. I struggle with many things everyday, and even though I seem happy on the outside, inside I am not. I would like to be happy, prosperous and have the joy that I am told everyday I deserve. I would like to pursue my music.