I read this today: "All Beginnings Are Hopeful" and it really blessed me. I have to admit that several months back I would've been tempted to be immediately depressed and defeated with that statement because at that time it would've meant to me that I was starting again and going all the way back to the beginning and when would the day come when I would finally be at the finish line?
But now, thank God, I didn't see it that way...not until I sat down to write this and remembered my former way of thinking. It still creeps in there, but it hangs around for shorter amounts of time. I find that if I'm angry, depressed, resentful, fretful...that it's because I'm starting to look backwards, into the past, and having regrets. In doing that, I let go of the present and future goals that I have set in place--truthfully, they seem like a huge weight around my neck that are strangling me during those times! But, when I get in touch with what I'm feeling and DEAL with those emotions and STOP trying to control others and STOP trying to change the past (usually by fantasizing more than anything else!), then I can move forward; enter into God's peace; and excitedly embrace the present and the future.
I don't know about any of you out there, but I don't always find this to be an easy thing! The first step for me, is to recognize the accustomed pattern and to work on stopping it as soon as I see it. That familiar place is really anything but a comfort zone, yet it is something addictive with it's familiar ways.
Being responsible for oneself isn't always easy...I find it easier to tell everyone else what to do, but get physically sick as i am making strong, life changing decisions for me...the star of my show!
I'm still working on just being satisfied sticking my nose in ONLY my business...totally a tough thing for me! But as I'm working the steps in my christian recovery program, I'm starting to see a lot of things that i did not see before...thank God!
So, there is Hope in this New Day and in this New Beginning as I make my new goals for my new decisions. I'll share those new decisions another time...gotta finish doing my 'to do list!"