I'm taking a break from moving forward in Tools right now cuz i feel like things are moving too fast and i need to slow down and retrace some of my steps and make sure that I go back to doing some of the things that i had stopped doing. as i'm reviewing, i'm seeing some things that i had missed along the way.
My life's pace has picked up tremendously and I'm not complaining about it, believe me. The stress level (family wise) has been abundant and I've lost quite a bit of weight because of it (and no, I didn't need to lose all that weight, either). However, I think I've stabilized now (or just about) and although even today i found out some new things to add to my stress level, i still ate well all day and night, thank God.
I've been actively dating...one guy in particular. I like him very much, however, he's very shy and laid back to the extreme. i'm determined not to make things comfortable for him and be my usual overly assertive self (i tend to take the lead when there are no obvious people doing so). I know that there is a leader deep inside of him and he has hidden it due to past hurts, etc. However, seeing that he's a VP of a firm and God-given sensings on my behalf, i know he has that quality.
I didn't go dancing tonight, but that's okay. I felt that i needed a night off to physically rest and it worked out well. i will rest tomorrow night at home as well and then I'm busy saturday and sunday with a party and a date. i had a very busy holiday weekend and could use this time to catch up and recuperate. It's amazing that throughout all this really tough time with family, my social life has really improved and my determination to enjoy life is greater than its ever been.
i feel like that character played by Queen Latifah in Holiday who changed her whole life when she thought she only had 3 weeks left to live. Well, i'm not physically dying, but many relationships have died and yet, praise God, I'm determined to live and enjoy the life I have and the new relationships that I've been blessed to make. Perhaps not all of them will be lasting, but I'll enjoy them for whatever period of time they will be in my life.
I'm also determined to get back to writing again since I slacked off these last few weeks. And I want to get back to working on crafts/artwork as much as possible. I've been missing that and I want to be able to incorporate that into my life somehow.
so, with all my goals, the weight and physical fitness ones were the easiest for me to attain, oh, and the social/dating ones. now, the harder ones: spiritual, writing, new business, etc. Those i do need more time for and i want to work on accomplishing them as well. i'm going to get more serious about finding people who can motivate me and move me towards making those happen. the dance people move me towards dancing; the social people towards dating and socializing, etc. So, I'm praying and targeting the writers and even the Godly people into my life.
i will be speaking to someone on eharmony soon who is a writer and actually published a book last year. we have a phone 'date' coming up...lets see how that goes. also, a friend's spouse and i will be meeting to hopefully write some articles together...i hope that works out and we actually accomplish what we set out to do. the good thing is that I'm trying...knocking on doors...doing my part. that is way more than i was doing for a long time.
I'm trying not to become too impatient because my list is long and it's taken me all these years to get my life this much in a mess, so it will take a little time to unravel it and iron it out. I'm grateful for the miracle of it happening at a much faster pace than i thought possible and i'm excited to see what new things lie ahead.
So in the midst of the seeming mess all around me, I want to keep my eyes on the rainbow...the promise of hope and better days ahead...a future and a hope...and I'm grateful to the Lord for that!
