I'm not sure what to put here, but I guess we could say I'm a 29 year old male who feels like he's having a midlife crisis! My life just isn't what I expected and although I know it's ridiculous I just can't get over the fact that I didn't try to get it together way earlier. Also my view of who I am is getting blurrier by the day. Lots of contradiction in my thoughts and beliefs, having a hard time distinguishing reality from my perception of it. The worst part is that my perception is my reality. Wow I hope this wasn't supposed to be some sugar coated, bright eyed sales pitch!

My past is pretty vanilla. I grew up in a very loving household, my parents were always very nurturing and caring, but for some reason I just turned very dark. I was sent to psychiatrists a few times as a kid, but as far as I know, my parents never really got a straight answer from any of them. In fact, I don't remember ever hearing any diagnosis. I guess now I could say that I deal with depression sometimes, but still don't like the idea of just throwing medicine at it. Just doesn't seem right to mess with that, seems far better to try to work through it.

I can't say for sure that I want to know my future, but I can definitely say I have no idea what the future may have in store for me. I may become wealthy doing something I love to do, or find a calling that pays on a deeper level and forget all the produce/ consume rat race, or I may be homeless, maybe even happily. I could also say if there was a flying Delorean involved, I'd be much more interested in my future.

Wed, Mar 04 11:40 PM

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