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jc7
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Birth Date: Fri, Sep 03 1982

Place of residence:
Calgary Alberta, Canada (map)

I am:

Schools: business

Jobs: labourer


Certificates:
Tools Program Stats:
Member Since: 07/28/08
Last Login: 11/19/08
Viewed: 1858
Program in:
Program Progress: Day 42
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I Suffer From

jc7's Life List:
Save my marriage
Drop ten pounds
Have a sanctioned MMA or Muay Thai fight
Go back to school?
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Boost to you!! Day33- yee-haa!!!!! Blessings! :-)

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A big boost to help cheer you up. welcome to the tools community.

Hi, thanks for responding to my question! Have an awesome day! "Every dream can be a reality."

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My story right now is upside right  down, Crazy rollercoaster the last 6 six years. Got sick of driving to work in stop and go traffic at a high paying job. So at 19 I packed my bags and left to Europe and lived in a Hostel for five years back and forth. Lived in Australia for a bit with a couple guys I met living in England. Travelled all of Europe and met my wife/possibly ex wife, i hope not. but things ain't look that great. There has been a real lack of communication over the last 7 months with 6 months of silence. We are in different countries and the silence is just taking its toll on me. I love her with all my heart, but I fail to see any improvement with our situation. I have offered every sort of counseling with no response. As the program said, this is more of an opportunity to fix our problems then dwell on them. I hope things turn around. As we got a small hyper active dog from Hurricane Katrina. And I refuse to send him back to the shelter, but I just see my life being held back. I do not know how I can hold a job, be social and continue my MMA fighting all while being single and raising an athletic hyper dog? Everything is a blur. But strength and determination are something I have always been good with and am completely relying on, in these tough times. Dog or not, He is a part of my family. And family is always worth fighting for!

all questions»

Hey everyone, I am lost in all my thoughts right now, Tools has helped and I am really turning around the corner and am satisfied with a lot in my life.

But the biggest problem still remains to be the confusion in my marriage.

I love my wife with all my heart and really meant my marriage vows.

But she has barely communicated with me over the last 7 months.

I guess I am stuck on my decision making.
I don't know if I should continue to try as I myself have nearly tried everything. But to no avail, 

So it has come to the point of where I just don't want to hurt her or bother her. I am not sure how my emails affect her as the communication is very low.

I wonder if I should just go for the ol saying that if you love someone let them go.

Or continue to  try to solve things.

I really wanna solve things, but if my efforts are affecting her I really don't wanna hurt her.

what do you's think?

Most popular answers

says:

My parents were married for 55 years, until my fathers death. I was married twice, pretending to be someone I was and am not, straight. What is the magic answer for a healthy relationship? Work.

 

Of course, this includes honesty with yourself and your partner. If something is bothering you and you don't say anything to him or her, it can cause a fire of hurt to smolder.

 

Then, you can't force someone to communicate with you. I would look for a way into her world, into what is causing the distance between you and her. Remind yourself of what you fell in love with, what did she see in you in the beginning.

 

If you can't get that back I think your relationship is in trouble. If you can't find a starting point for opening up with each other, the embers will continue to smolder until either some water is doused on them or more fuel is added and they burst into flames.

 

I wish you the best in this. I hope you find some water to throw on the embers.

What is your answer?

I joined TOOLS because:
 Jason Ellis recommended it on his show, and my wife refuses to speak to me and I don't know whether to keep fighting for our marriage or let it go.
You are offered your dream job. What job is it?:
 NFL football player
My favorite wild animal is:
 Cheetah
Why (describe as much as possible):
 The speed, the look with the spots. I just think they are absolutely amazing
My favorite domestic animal is (if you choose dog be specific with breed etc):
 Dog, I like whippets, and border-jacks
Why:
 I think whippets look super cool and are so fast and border-jacks are are awesome athletic dogs and don't have a lot of fur like a border collie
A famous Chef will prepare anything you want. What do you order:
 I would let the chef choose for me.
Why:
 The surprise of the chef's personnal pick would be exciting and you know the chef would put in extra effort
Five people either dead or alive you would have at your fantasy dinner party::
 Dimebag Darrell, Doug Flutie, Sun Tzu, Jason Ellis, Myamoto Musashi
Why:
 5 people I would like to get to know, And I think the mix of Dime and Ellis would be hilarious with two ancient japanese warrior master, and Flutie seems cool and would be awesome to chat with and laugh at the others goin all nuts! It would be awesome
If a pilot would fly you anywhere you want, you would go to:
 Greenland
My perfect slice of pizza is:
 No fat pizza/BBQ chicken
You are at a bar. You order this drink:
 San Francisco
You are at a coffee shop. What coffee or tea do you order:
 Chai
If a genie could grant you three wishes they would be (separate by commas):
 Save my marriage, lots of money, save some sick kids
You are going on a long road trip and you can only bring three CD's. Which ones do you bring (separate by commas):
 Pantera - Vulgar Display of Power, Metallica - Kill em All, Black Sabbath - Greatest Hits
If I could do anything for my neighborhood today, it would be:
 Throw a kick ass party
A sunset I remember:
 Greek isles with a couple friends after riding our motorbikes up a mountain
Any character I could be from a movie, TV show or book would be:
 The Terminator
Why:
 Dude just kicks ass all day