???

 Sometimes when you think you get over something all you have really done is picked up something else to replace it.

After my wife who I have tried for nine months offering her marriage counseling courses, etc. Did not wish me a happy birthday or even respond to a previous email. I decided that unfortunately it was time for me to move on and just let her go as much as I really don't want to.

And for the last week I had thought I have, but woke up this morning realizing all I have really done is replaced the pain with alcohol and gone back to ways of the past.

It's hard because growing up and even til this day, everyone tells me I am the funniest and best drunk going. Unfortunately I simply can not control it, I either go 110% and don't stop drinking for a second or don't drink at all.

But realizing I am older and stupidy back in my life will do me no favours, How I did not get arrested last night is beyond me, but lucky for me.

Driving drunk again, beyond stupid. And partying like I am 15 again is no good, driving  75 mph down the highway peeing out the window, lighting my beard and eyebrows on fire, streaking and trashing cars  not parked in between the yellows lines.

Way overboard and way back to the wrong ways. Guess I am not really over my wife leaving. I guess its harder because of the silent treatment.

Oh well, right now I get through the days laughing hysterically at the Jason Ellis show. Funny how one dudes radio show can brighten your life and lead to this website.......

ah well, guess I gotta focus harder on my mma training to keep myself from drinking.

But am lost as to whether or not to meet other girls or wait for my wife with nothing but hope.............. 

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