I am 32 this year. In a complicated relationship with a 5 years old girl. Now an Environmentalist for a social movements in preservation and conservation of our Mother Nature.

I love what I'm doing now. I have a lot of friends. But I was never happy in my life.

From the day I started work in 1996, life has never been easy for me. Things appears good but in the end I screwed it up. And I knew it was because of somethings that I have not done right.

I grew up in a broken family. And I have self sabotaj my life for all the years that I know. I personally knows that I'm gifted with many strengths in life that I've never made full use of it. I have very good convincing power, good communication skills and a person who could mobilize a movement.

In my younger days, I had started to feel lonely. I remember myself sitting infront of the mirror talking to myself when I was about 4-5yrs old. Crying infront of the mirror. I then started my primary school. I've always feel that friends are so important to the extend that I could do anything to please my friends. Being a talkative kid, I was definitely not teacher's favourite student.

I knew that I was brilliant. But I've always been over confident. When teacher is teaching, i don't listen. But it has been really funny that I've always passed my exams with Merits.

When I started my secondary school life, I have became a real monster! I started smoking when I was 14. During times that every one is suppose to be in school studying, I'm somewhere out there in the video game shops, playing snooker, at the roller skate rink or hanging out at shopping malls until school hours are over.

I've almost failed my studies, but was I really lucky or it was true that I'm a brilliant child?

I started working after Form 5. Most of my friends proceed for their studies but I had to start working as my family could not afford me to proceed for further studies. My dad even told me that I'm grown up and life is on my own from then on. I felt that I'm not important since the day he left when I was 10.

All my life, I have never felt myself important to anyone. Even to my partner. Even to my friends. My partner used to tell me that I have to take care of myself first not other people. Well, for me I've thought that isn't it by giving then only we will receive? Thus far, sadly that's not the thing I'm receiving.

I started my first job as a telephone operator in a hotel earning RM600 a month for few months. Then started to look for office job. I've so far falied 1 or 2 interviews only. I've been to many job interviews till I couldn't remember how may was that.

I told myself then, I will not be a receptionist and only manage to be a cleark or so after few years. I must look for a better job. But a person like me without good qualifications, how could I get a good job? Then I knew I have to use my best strength I have. My communication skills and convincing power.

True enough that most interviews I've went was majority positive answers. Then I started my first Sales job in a gift company. I was trained to do cold calling hence I could speak and talk to any stranger till today.

From 1 sales job to another sales job. I think there's not one job that lasted me for long. But usually for the first 2-3 months, my energy and passion for the jobs I took up are high hence I've always been on of the top sales people in what ever I do. Then later, I was convinced by a friend to sell Life Insurance. And yes again. I was one of the top agents in my agency. Manage to achieve the incentive trips by the company. But that too did not last too long.

Later I was pregnant with my little princess and I've stopped working during the pregnancy. And started in Sales job again. An industry that has links in the banking industry. I was again one of the Top Sales. But sadly, company was not stable and all the sales staff left and I was the last few who left.

Due to my track record, I was offered another Sales job at a competitor's  organization. This time I was better, I lasted for one and half years. Knowing that the industry I was in, to get a job in banking industry was not too tough.

I then started searching for a new job but this time in the bank. I was offered a Relationship Manager position in the bank. I thought I finally made it to a position which usually requires good qualification which I did not have. And I was proud of myself.

But what is there to be proud about? I've managed to get all my jobs by convincing these people what I could do! But infact, I knew nuts!

Working in the bank was definitely a nice and has lots of employee benefits. But still, I have never really focus on what I'm suppose to do.

I've always have this contradicting feeling in myself. Over confident that I could do something and a fast learner. But on the other hand, I felt that I could not do it.

In about a year being in the bank, I started to be as usual, hate my job. Again I felt that I really something! But what was it?

In 2008, I found my passion. the passion for environment. Wiith nothing on hand, I started a Waterfall Survivors, a Social Group exploring the beautiful Mother Nature. The group grew tremendously till I've never thought it could be where it is today. From a exploration group, I then had other missions and visions for this Social Group I have. Besides exploring, I then started a movement to preserve the Mother Nature and our waterfalls. 

Cleaning up and educating others about the importance of the environment was a great feeling. It was one of the best thing I ever had in my life. As day goes by, I couldn't cope with my full time job. Hence I decided to leave my job for my passion and dreams. In a very short term, Waterfall Survivors got the attention not only from public. Even media coverage was fanstastic for WS since then. I even had interviews write ups and tv programs interviews on what I'm doing. I knew I finally found my dreams and passion. And I finally had a hobby. 

From the outside, everyone was proud of me. Proud of what I'm doing to give back to the society and environment. I had always struggled. In the past 3 years, life has been ups and downs for me. Happy times was when I meet new friends and gets to visit new falls. Cleaning up waterfalls which helps WS getting recognitions and publicities was also part of the things that made me felt happy. But, not long after each happy moment, I will be depress and sad again.

Financial difficulties were one of the thing that has been following me since the day I came out to work. Things got even worst after I started Waterfall Survivors. All these while, putting on a camouflage of a happy face, was definitely convincing other people that I'm happy. But was I really happy? The first half of this year was the worst time in my 32 years of life. Banks are coming after me. Waterfall Survivors is not sustaining at all. Trips has lesser people attending, authorities not keeping promises about their contribution to our cause and if I were to go on, it will be 100 pages at least!

With all these happening around me, I tried my best to stay tough and strong. Then, my car had problem needed quite an amount to get it fixed, best friend putting another stab right in my heart, family not supporting my dreams and cause, I don't have enough money to pay for my car, how could there be another reason for me to live on??? I was so so depress. I hide myself at home every day in my room. For 4 consecutive days without sleep, with no appetite and even had suicidal thoughts! I was in great pain. I sat in front of the laptop hoping that there will be just someone to come and talk to me. When friends want to meet me, I rejected them. What do I really want?

I felt that my confidence level and self esteem was thrown right to the bottom of the sea even I couldn’t find it. I was exhausted, restless and felt there's no more meaning in my life. A person without dreams is just an empty body without its soul! What more could I ask for besides gathering courage to face death? I was almost going crazy! Then I told myself.. NO... I MUST FIND SOME INSPIRING PEOPLE... I must talk to them. I must talk to someone with positive thinking or people who has the common goals and dreams like me who are successful today! Or that's the end of me.

Poesy was the first person that came into picture. She knew that I was so stressed, exhausted and sad. She asked me to meet her and have a chat. After 2 hours chat with her, I felt better. Then she told me that I should look for Matthias too as he could really give me more ideas on how to sustain WS. Obviously without waiting, I met Matthias after a few FB chat. He’s another inspiring man. He gave me lots of ideas then told me that I should not give up my dreams.

I was clear by then and the both of them were right. Step by step I tried to climb up from the deep well I fell in. And knowing myself, (or not knowing myself) I know I need someone to guide me! But where can I find? I don't have money to get one! Which I personally felt that getting a coach will cost a lot. So I decided then to just depend on myself. My emotion was so extreme that it fluctuates again from very happy to very sad. Even my attitude was very extreme. But I didn't know what I can do to stop it.

2 months flies... and one fine day I was chatting in the car with a few friends. We were talking about my phobia=Snake. Then Fuji one of the people in the car at that time said "Joe, I think you need to see some professional to get this cured. It could be something that is stopping you from succeeding". Upon reaching home, I posted on my FB hoping that someone knows some hypnotherapist who could help me but can charge me cheap. Then Stephanie replied on my status telling me that she's a hypnotherapist and asked me how she could help me. We then decided to meet 2 days later. 

Stephanie was a great person. Knowing about my problems, she told me that she will only send me a bill when I'm able to pay for it. (God must have sent this angel to me!) I sat in the consultation room with Stephanie. I told her all about myself and what I'm encountering. She threw me a lot of questions. Why you felt this way? What are you afraid of? Do you feel happy? What is your goals in life? All these were the questions that I could never answer! I don't know! She said I knew! She then asked me why I couldn’t survive. The later explained to me about the story of Half a glass of water. She then asked me if I seriously want to change. I said YES! She then gave me some homework that needs to be done.

1) My SMART Goals

2) 20 Things That I'm Grateful about Today

3) Tracking My Emotion Change.

I “so call” did the SMART Goal 

S- Specific 

M- Measurable

A- Achievable

R- Result Orientated

T- Timeline

Which of course, now while I'm typing this, I went Goggled it to see what it actually means! And gosh!!! What I set was almost but still not S.M.A.R.T. enough! I will do another one later... LOL besides the S.M.A.R.T. Goal that I sent to Steph, the other 2 I didn't know what to do with it! I couldn't even write out more than 5 a day. So I didn't write at all. Then the emotions, I didn't even know if my own emotions are real or I'm actually lying to myself. How could I identify that? I didn't write either! But every day, I kept repeatedly thinking of what Steph is actually trying to tell me?? And what the hell am I afraid of? I don't know!!!

In less than a week, another man came in my life from the heaven's door! KH was also being sent to help me make a change to my life! Sending me affirmative messages that are like mirroring what Steph had said! I just don't know why, out of a sudden, all these people came at once! 

Ok.. This couldn't be what I thought. How come things like these are happening?? It’s like something I've read in a book, the Law of Attractions by Michael J. Losier and The Secret Rhonda Bryne years ago. I could felt the energy of all these people. Hey!!! One came after another. And each of them is sending the energy to me that it was so powerful when I understood it! These were not coincidence! These were the Law of Attractions!!! I sent the energy and message that I needed S.O.S.! And the Universal Law of Attractions brought them to me! TO SAVE ME! 

Steph follows up with me daily on my progress while KH was with me almost every day making sure that I don't get out of track. While starting to learn about the meaning of "GRATEFUL" which was tough process at very start! KH throw in challenges by testing my patience, how I control my emotions, checking on me daily if I've done what I'm supposed to do on that day, asking me day in and out if I have done this and done that. Every time I've done something right, KH will compliment me for what I've done right. And about things I did wrong, he would tell me that I could do it better! I started to regain my confidence and self esteem.

I had to go away for a few days to lead the group for an expedition. KH was obviously not with me. My emotions went down again due to some test that KH tested on me! He caught me red handed when I started stirring with my extreme emotions again! He then asked me a question that I told him earlier which Steph has share with me. "HOW DOES THAT MATTER??” Then I sat for a while thinking of the phrase again. At that very moment, it was like a WAKE UP CALL! I smiled then found how stupid I was all these years! 

I then started to tell myself that I MUST MAKE A CHANGE! I MUST MAKE A DIFFERENCE IN MY LIFE! IF I CONTINUE TO DO THE SAME OLD THING EVERY DAY, THAT WOULD BE THE SAME RESULT THAT I WILL BE GETTING!

Each day, when I felt that things are not so right or with things that makes me unhappy, I would then ask myself this question “How Does That Matter?” It helped each time. And I will feel better and letting go.

Another week just past, I finally really felt and noticed the change in myself! A change to the better! A change that I can tell will turn my life 180 degrees!! (People always use 360 degrees change… for me 360 degrees means you are going back to the same spot after making a long journey!).

I started reading more about how to change my life, how I could be persistence and focus on my dreams! I’ve also listened to Audios by Top Motivational Speaker like Anthony Robbins, posting status of famous motivational quotes to send affirmative to myself.

In just less than a week, even my family, some friends noticed the change in me! I became so much happier than before, I became so positive thinking, I became so much more confident about myself and my cause. KH also noticed the change! He told me that I was learning really fast as it was just a matter of weeks! I recall a phrase that Anthony Robbins said “The higher your energy level, the more efficient your body, the more efficient your body, the better you feel and the more you will use your talent to produce outstanding results.” And I learned that to frame or condition our mind for the better, I must have positive thoughts in me every day!

Now, every time when something comes in negative, I will substitute it with the positive statement. When a problem arises, I will take it as a positive challenge that I will find good ways to solve the problem that will bring the good and positive results! Thomas Edison once said, "I am not discourage, because every wrong attempt discarded is another step forward". And each day, I felt happier than the day before. I am filled with hope, joy and looking forward for the success that I will achieve by being positive and happy. Stephanie, I finally know what you meant by things I’m grateful with each day.

The Law of Attraction is another method that I’ve realize during this period how powerful it is that I’ve have made it to a point that I MUST use it in my daily life. I tested on how true it can be about the Law of Attractions.  In this week when I’m using it day in day out by sending out the message and energy of what I want or think of and it will just happen which I don't know how it happened. And all I coudl explain is the Law of Attractions! WOW! It’s an energy that I really start to fall in love with!!!

I had some ideas came popped out and I was telling KH to do some research on some facts and figures on Tuesday. Then on Wednesday, Dr. Pepper called me telling me that he is interested with some project like that before I even tell him! When I was telling KH about Matthias, showing him Matthias’ website and how great this person is, Matthias message me! I wanted to text KH but before I could open the apps he texted me.  I was telling a friend about a schoolmate that I think I should call him to say hi because I have not met him since CNY, then he BBM me on Tuesday… and many more that I just couldn’t believe that it’s happening!

I may sound crazy! Try it! You will be amazed by the results of it.

I would like to convey my sincere Thank You to a few of my friends and coaches that made this change in me by inspiring me. I could say that, a million Thank You is not enough for what you all have brought to my life.  

Poesy, Matthias, Stephanie and KH, I believe the best way for me to show my sincerity and appreciation would be by being a better me each day and contribute my knowledge, experience and time back to the society. I will use what I’ve learned by sharing and inspire more people who are still in the critical stage like me before. I will blend this “SECRET” to get more new ideas and modules to educate Malaysians on the importance of preservation and conservation to protect and love our environment.

Now I would like say good bye and pronounce the CERTIFIED DEATH OF MEDIOCRE, HAGGARD, DEPRESSED, LOW SELF CONFIDENCE, LOW SELF ESTEEM JOE YAP  born on 12th March 1979, Death on 26th August 2011! May she REST IN PEACE!!!

Let’s together welcome the birth of a newborn JOE YAP to this world on this special day at 26th August 2011 at 10.26am.

I MAY NOT BE THE BEST! BUT I WILL DEFINITELY BE THE TOP 20% OF THE BEST PEOPLE IN THE WORLD!  (Poesy, I did not forget the Pyramid that you were telling me!)

Lastly Thank You to All My Friends Who Was There For Me During My Down Times. Thank you for not leaving me behind.

"Last-Lastly", this is a huge big THANK YOU to those people who have been trying to drag me down! I thank you for letting me experience the POWER OF DREAMS!!! :)

My 5 years goal will be making Waterfall Survivors self sustaining with funding of RM1 million to preserve and conserve waterfalls in the country. I will be getting paid for the job I've done which will give me the income of RM20k per month. With financial freedom and happy lifestyle, I could do more for the society and the environment. I will also finish and compiled the Coffee Table Book of Waterfalls of Malaysia for publishing by end of 4th Year. I will finish the list of exploring the balance of approx 70 waterfalls in Malaysia from 150. I have now(2011) completed 84 waterfalls

My 10 years goal will be making Waterfall Survivors the top waterfall exploration organization in the world. Visiting the waterfalls in the world. Compilation of these datas for preparing the World Waterfall Coffee Table Book. Be an International Environment Speaker and Waterfall Expert.

I know with holding on to my belief, sending out the positive energy and taking action today, I WILL BE WHERE I WANT TO BE IN 5 YEARS. I WILL ALSO BE WHERE I WANT TO BE IN 10 YEARS FROM NOW!

I WILL SEE MYSELF AS A PERSON WITH FINANCIAL FREEDOM, THE INTERNTIONATIONAL ENVIRONMENT SPEAKER AND WATERFALL EXPERT. I WILL BE THAT PERSON WHO WILL BE RESPECTED AND EVERYONE AROUND ME WILL BE PROUD OF WHO I AM, WHAT I AM AND WHAT I HAVE DONE RIGHT THAT HAS MADE A DIFFERENCE TO THE SOCIETY.