For years my wife and I have lacked an emotional connection in our marriage, and now suddenly my wife is chatting on facebook with an old boyfriend and it is tearing my up. Should I be worried or happy for her? She said it is allowing herself to feel again since her and the ex (over 17 years ago) had a troubled relationship and she has held those feelings against our marriage. We have been married 12 years. I cannot stop dweling on the fact my wife seems more excited to chat with others than talk with me. But over the last few years, I guess we really have drifted apart and I understand I also had a lack of emotions which added to the issues. How do I get over these insecure feelings? She tells me not to worry she has never felt better or stronger for us.