This time we collected neighbours and had a blast pushing the van down the road. It was so much fun.

Helping can be fun, too. :) 

And boy, what news do I have: I am a freelancer, living in a wonderful new flat near Munich. I can visit my best friend whenever I want to! My parents are only an hour driving away, my brother even just twenty minutes. My job is great, I am having much fun and I am venturing forth into an environment I even more love: I will concentrate on japanese comicbooks and comics in generall. My first cooperation will be with a big german publisher who was so excited by my work that he wants us to work together. I might publish several books with him and do a market research.

You know: It's really true, that you have to be concentrating on being happy. Everything else really takes care of itself. It was such fun to move here in this new flat which is absolutely gorgeous: Sunny and many windows, perfect environment, can use the garden, five minutes to walk to the trains. :)

Thanks for being there for me! 

If you'd like, check out the new song I discovered from Hannah Montana on my song list. Wonderful lyrics! 

I had several hard times the last few months and had to struggle with them.

A short overview of my life the past few months:

September: I spend a lovely week at Aberdeen, Scotland, from work. My boss wanted me to think over a change at work from Kelheim to Mainburg. I told her after the visit that I would switch working places.

October: I switched places. Immediately I had problems finding a place in the team (my work hours were more in the evening and the team worked only half of the day until noon), I had no organisation in my work, it was not the work I wanted to do, I had severe problems with my boss that never surfaced before Aberdeen or my switch.

November: I had several nasty encounters with my boss. She pushed me down with a hard talk about me not being good enough, not looking good enough, being too cool and arrogant (hu? *grin*), using to much laughter and being all in all a total failure. Normally I don't give much to such talk, but since she is older than me and I thought it was a bit of a critic talk, I took notes and thought it over. I was severely depressed over the time because I talked myself into it really well. I thought everything she said was right. Then I had another meeting with her after which I seriously looked at a tree and thought about driving into it and how long I might be absent from work with that action. I was shocked by my behaviour. I let myself be fetched by my brother and spend the next one and a half weeks  at his place to get my act together and think about what had happened to me. I returned to work after that and wanted to talk to my boss. She told me she didn't have any time and maybe next week I could have a meeting with her. The next week I phoned her and told her (I was fed up with all of that): I am sorry, it was all my fault and I have organised my work new so I think I can really get a grip now.

One week after that she showed me my notice of termination.

I went out of my working place feeling lighter than ever. Next year I will be a freelancer and work at the airport with the people there. I cannot believe that I had five new job offers as soon as I got the termination! It was really liberating. Long live the new year, it will be so much better than this one. :)

And: I am back. *grin* 

I didn't understand so she told me more.

And now I think I have it:

I am a too calm and cool person. I have much more positive feelings than negative, but it seems I have really ingrained some kind of bad conscience when I place myself first before my collegues or other people. So starting from today I will listen to myself more and stand more by the feelings I have in myself.

The time since last year around this date has been spend with so much learning beside work that I am sometimes really surprised that I still know the face that looks me in the eyes whenever I stand before a mirror. :)

Pollyanna plays her glad-game which she learned from her father. For that she always envisions what she can be glad about in any situation. It's really a big help and wonderful to read. Check it at your local bookstore!

So here I am again. And the new outfit is seriously shiny! :) Such a great blue and so cool to look at. Big thumbs up to Coach and his crew!

My life is great at the moment, although it could be a bit better. ;) But who's couldn't be? I am working on it.

Might be great if I knew what I really wanted. *lol*

Anyway: Have a wonderful week! :) 

(Picture provided by the talented Amy Kim Ganter - just love her works. It's as if she has painted Nicole with me in mind. *grin*) 

My work there? Being there and being the one you can talk to. :)

Love it! :) 

I have finished my project with the help of my brother and now it is already in Bonn where it will be looked over and then they tell me whether we get the concept or not.

My brother was a tremendous help. He phoned me and spoke to me and then all of a sudden he said: Look out your window. When I looked out I was so happy because he sat there in his car and waved. He came to me because he thought that I needed help and I sounded so forlorn.

So we both worked on the concept. My boss was astonished that I really did some work now and stopped by to ask so many helpful questions.... NOT! *sigh*

Well, but the Big Boss was delighted. I visited her the next day, brought the concept over and she worked on it with me. Now she tells all of her staff what can be done with the will and the power and the connections to the right people.

Out of my down-phase I got into the phase that I serve as a model for other co-workers! That's been a really great thing. I learned a lot from it and although I still hope that the next assignement will be easier and better to manage for me, I can now be proud of the fact that I finished it nearly on my own without the help of my boss and other co-workers.

So: Thanks again for your hugs and helpful words! *hug*

You get the picture? *sigh*

I need a big hug. Today I feel really down and overwhelmed by the task set before me. Tomorrow it may look better but tonight I am rather down and need a hug.

*siiigh*