Well, yesterday I had a very interesting conversation with a friend of mine. She told me that I had several ornery people around me because I wasn't ornery enough. *lol*
I didn't understand so she told me more.
And now I think I have it:
I am a too calm and cool person. I have much more positive feelings than negative, but it seems I have really ingrained some kind of bad conscience when I place myself first before my collegues or other people. So starting from today I will listen to myself more and stand more by the feelings I have in myself.
The time since last year around this date has been spend with so much learning beside work that I am sometimes really surprised that I still know the face that looks me in the eyes whenever I stand before a mirror. :)