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Join Now *grumble grumble* by JuliaBoonfate
 
JuliaBoonfate
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Birth Date: Sat, May 16 1981

Place of residence:
Erding Bavaria, Germany (map)

I am: In Relationship

Schools: Elementary school in Kraiburg, Gymnasium Gars, Ludwig Maximilian University Munich

Jobs: Sales clerk and bookseller + Freelancer, working with publishing houses and magazines


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Member Since: 01/05/07
Last Login: 11/27/10
Viewed: 302946
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Program Progress: Day 86
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JuliaBoonfate

  JuliaBoonfate

Sun, Jan 28 12:00 AM

*grumble grumble*

 Lie-Day...

Okay, okay. Now you've got me. *lol*

I used to lie a lot. Not only internally, but to other people as well. Fear of not being loved, I guess, although my parents never gave me this feeling that I wasn't good enough.
*grumble* Now I am starting to write the stuff in here that I didn't want to. *lol*

Okay, that has been behind me - I thought. But then there came this lesson today. And I found that I really like to lie to myself. *laugh* Not very encouraging. At least, I am not smoking, so I don't have to blame myself for that.
But it's even uglier to realize that you lied to yourself all the time (and you have to admit: YOU KNEW IT ALL THE TIME!!!) and knowing, that that hasn't been very effective in bringing you what you wanted.

*blablabla* I never have enough time to write my novels. *grumble* B.S., as some would say.

I realized several things today: First of all I can solve a big problem I had with money. That will be taken care of tomorrow (being sunday, the bank isn't open). And the second one: I will stop to lie to myself about not having enough time.

I HAVE ENOUGH TIME. *nod*
Thanks for listening. *lol*

 

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comments

Sweet Honesty

I like this blog. There's a real person being so brave and real with herself and with us, PLUS taking action to make things better. (And poking a little Pinnochio fun at herself too!)

For me there's a big sense of restful, grounded sweetness when I finally catch up to myself and admit I'm not telling myself the truth. Cuz as you say, we already KNOW that. It's not fun to run and run. It's fun to stop, turn, face it and get the GREAT idea for how to fix it. Wishing you progress, on that novel, and the other stuff.