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kathyr
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Birth Date: Sun, Feb 21 1954

Place of residence:
ORO VALLEY AZ, United States (map)

I am: Single & Not Dating

Schools:

Jobs: Grandmother of 2, cook, Story Teller,

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Member Since: 05/07/08
Last Login: 08/30/08
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2008-07-16 22:23:33

RobertFarrell

RobertFarrell

BOOST TO BOOST

A boost for you for starting Tools and all good wishes for your return! Let me know if you need a resume.

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I am 54 and I have one daughter and two wonderful grandchildren.

 

I have given 110% of my life to my family. I need my own life. It is very hard for me to just let go and do my thing.

 

My daughter just had her second baby in Nov.He was born very ill. Then my daughter had Post Partum Depression and I picked up where she stop being Mom to the kids.

Then I had to move out of my Apt a month ago.

 

I have been staying in a very nice home of my friend that was empty. Now my daughter and her family are going to rent it. Once again I have no real home.

 

My plan is to go to Colorado with family and figure out what I want in life. Fine a part time job that I will enjoy.

 

Any ideas out there?

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Hi Everyone

 

I have a question and I am looking for a answer. I have the answer some where in my soul. I am asking for help.

 

I have been with the program since May. I am still on day 15.

I know I am right where I need to be.

 

The relationship most dear to my Heart is really Toxic at the moment.

It is with my only Daughter.

3 Years ago she asked me to move to Tucson AZ. Iwanted to be close to her as well. She had only been married for year and was home sick for family since his family lives in town.

 

Now she has 2 kid's and needed my help almost every day.

 

I have taken out 3 years of my life to help her. I wanted to help, I was doing everything,cleaning cooking taking care of the kid's.

 

My grandson was born with some speacial needs and it was hard with a 2 year on hand as well. Her husband works and goes to school at night. My daughter had her hands full.

 

Now she informs me that she is doing fine and for the past 2 years I am always over.

 

That was a slap and I was hurt. I was there when she was on bed rest, helped out when she asked .

 

I felt she just dismissed me.

 

I have been feeling that our relationship is in trouble. She will say hurtful things and I cry.Because I don't want to be a hurtful as she is.

 

I am thinking of moving back to San Diego and get my Life back. Go back to work and find something I love to do.

 

I don't think I can do it being so close to her.Every day there is one more thing that hurt's.

 

We need space apart.

Any advice anyone?

 

Thank You All In Advance

 

Kathy

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Karen54 Karen54 at 2008-07-19

says:

I hope you can find a wonderful new opportunity to help and grow.  It just sounds like she has it together enough to give you space... and her space.  

When my daughter got married and had her baby, she was the only family left in town.  She told me I wasn't suppose to call at certain times.  I just told her she could call me anytime any place and didn't make a big deal of it.  But I respected her wishes.... It came from a pre marriage couselor after all.  Your daughter could be getting information from a counselor... and stretching ehr wings.  I would jsut let her know you love her always, and a mother always lovee the most ( ha ha)  This always gets my daughter.  She says I love you, I say I love you more.  Like it is a competition.  Love is after all being willing and doing the taking care of and contributing to the happiness and welfare of others.  IT isn't a feeling.  So the question is.. just is what is best for our children.  Well I am just western enough to believe it is to be self-determining... cutting the apron strings... finding their own refridgerator, learning to take care of their own family, their way, with all goodness.  Sometimes it includes us, sometimes it doesn't...

Please enjoy this time in your life, don't look back and feel bad about what you did... you sacraficed that is love... now look forward not back.

And remind me (and other empty nest mom's) of these words often in your prayers..May we trust that our paths is directed in Love.

Blessings Karen

Sending you a hug Sending you a hug

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I joined TOOLS because:
 I was in a really bad place. I know I join 05/07 which seems like yrs ago. My story sounds so sad. Really I have a blessed Life even with all the stuff I go through with my family.
You are offered your dream job. What job is it?:
 I love to be around people. To be able to come and go as I please.
My favorite wild animal is:
 Bird
Why (describe as much as possible):
 They are free to fly away any time.
My favorite domestic animal is (if you choose dog be specific with breed etc):
 Cat
Why:
 Some are very pretty and just prrrrrrrrr.
A famous Chef will prepare anything you want. What do you order:
 A nice salad pasta and chicken. A out of this world ice tea.
Why:
 That is what I like.Or I will just give him the idea. Let him do his thing.
If a pilot would fly you anywhere you want, you would go to:
 Italy
My perfect slice of pizza is:
 veggie
You are at a bar. You order this drink:
 I don't drink
You are at a coffee shop. What coffee or tea do you order:
 Venta latte with soy milk 1 shot.
If a genie could grant you three wishes they would be (separate by commas):
 Good Health, Endless amount of Money for my Brother who has taken care of our Mom for years built her a house and never has asked for anything in return. Wipe out all my debt.
You are going on a long road trip and you can only bring three CD's. Which ones do you bring (separate by commas):
 chris tomlin, Jazz
If I could do anything for my neighborhood today, it would be:
 offer a smile, a kind word.
A sunset I remember:
 Az sunset are breath taking
Any character I could be from a movie, TV show or book would be:
 sally filds from Brothers and Sister. .
Why:
 I grew up with Sally. Sally loves her family even through they can drive her crazy at times.