Just Breathe

Yoga has always been something I put into the "would be good for me, but I have no time for it" part of my brain.  Once a year, when away on our annual cross-country skiing vacation, I went to two or three yoga classes and enjoyed them very much, but then we'd return home and I'd go back to my regular, yoga free life. 

Yesterday, I went to my first ever Vinyasa yoga class. I found it to be very beautiful and very challenging.  One movement flowed fluidly to the next and when I was able to get in the flow, my body, mind and spirit felt aligned and in a state of total relaxation.  When I was busy trying to figure out how and when to inhale and exhale, where to put and move the various parts of my body, how to place the blanket to absorb the pressure on my knees, things were less fluent.  BT, ie.; before Tools, I would have felt anxious, self-conscious and slightly panicked.  I might have decided there and then not to ever come back to the class, it was too hard, the teacher wasn't good enough, that I couldn't handle it. At that point, nothing much that followed would have felt right. 

This time out, I just felt like a learner, who had confidence that in time, I will feel the flow through the bulk, if not the entire class.

And this is how I am trying to deal with my new job.  I am a learner.  I may have the grace to find the flow now and again, early on, but for the most part, I need to dig in and do the work while keeping my anxiety, self-consciousness and panic at bay, replacing these old patterns of thinking and behavior with calm, confident poise, which will, in time, become reflexive.

So, I will continue going to yoga classes to learn how to breathe, move fluidly, stretch and experience grace and peace.

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Tags: yoga, peace, being new