i'm not usually here at this time of day, but i felt compelled to say something. for the first time in a long time, i'm actually looking forward to going to work. my job has been a source of much unhappiness, much adversity, and suspicious activity. i'm starting to see that i may have allowed myself to be a victim. a victim of others who always see actions as intentional attacks from others, when in reality, they may not be. i don't know why the bad is always easier to believe. or why, being positive and self assured in our observations gets to tough to maintain over time. but my tools are opening my eyes once again to this being within my responsibility. i did spend an hour job searching online, without so much as a forethought of what i was doing. the action to change comes almost on it's own. i guess once that decision is reached deep down inside, actions follow to match. i'm not sure, but i know this, for me and my experience so far, when i felt it, and when i said it, and when i decided on it, the changes have come on their own. i don't know if i've lost weight, but my clothes feel better. i didn't think i had relationship issues, yet my significant other and i spent over two hours just talking and reaffirming feelings. i'm happy today to be going to work and look forward to an opportunity to show change and be positive. it's so amazing, i just had to say so.