My, have I changed! I have been a tooler for almost 3 years! Unbelievable!
Over the course of the past 3 years, I have gone from severely depressed and stuck in a pretty pitiful existence, to gradually emerging into a life of my own, little by little, goal by goal and tool by tool. I was lost in grief. Grief that was overwhelmingly intense. I had lost both of my parents and my husband in 3 short years, all three from very harsh illnesses. In the meantime, during those 3 same years, several other family members passed, and it was the beginning of many things that happened to my children. They had become adults also grieving. Childbirth, divorce, heart-aches, college, war, death, and addiction have gripped my family. We all became lost.
A year ago, we finally got my son to go into rehab for the treatment of an addiction that seemed to result from a few things, from the loss of his first little family to having a buddy die in his arms in Iraq. It was then that the rest of us were able to relax a little bit, he was safe within the walls of the rehab. We decided as a family to be part of the solution. We were all in turmoil and we all needed change.
All of us sought out some sort of therapy, with each of us trying to make changes on our own. Any change would be good. Perhaps a little change here and there would lead into a bigger change. I learned that I was stuck in a relationship going nowhere and that my kids had grown, whether I was ready or not… and it was time to let them be adults. I also learned that try as I might & did, I just didn’t make a very good dad. I gave it all I had and did a fine job as the stand-in dad, but it took from my job description as mom. I wasn’t made to do the Dad thing. It was his job, he failed it and the consequences are his to deal with. Not mine. (I divorced my kids dad, my second marriage many years later was with the husband who died.) Little changes lead into bigger changes.
And it is true. I had already learned this thru tools. The Law of accumulation made a huge difference in many areas of my life. That simple law resulted in 15 minutes of housework once a day to a neater house, 1 hour a week in therapy to more smiles on faces, one step towards college led to 2 and eventual re-admittance and regular course work. I could go on and on. Little changes lead to bigger changes & those bigger changes grow into huge steps. I love the Law of Accumulation.
So over the course of these three years, I have changed. I no longer grow more stagnate in that pitiful existence, but instead I grow. I change. I set new goals and I reach them… growing a little more each 90 days.
Some of you are aware of my Phases. I am on Phase IX. It took me well over a year to complete the first 90 days of this tools program. I would work at it, I would stop, I would come back, refresh a little and move on or I would pick up where I left off and little by little, one day at a time, I moved thru the initial 90 day tools to life course. I joined TTL on Feb 23, 2008. I finished the first 90 days on 4-10-2009, roughly 414 days from my first day.
Now every 90 days, I set new goals and achieve most of them. I am a little late in posting this phase of 90 day goals but they are below. I have been a busy girl and achieving much. I even squeezed in a very pressed but fun trip to Disney with the grandkids, thus my delay. This phase will be a very busy one also, my little changes, that occurred, one at a time, have grown into bigger changes. I have taken steps towards many of these new goals already and I am excited (and somewhat scared but I think it is normal) about the changes that are happening and about to happen.
I am changing my life. One day at a time, One step at a time, one goal at a time, one task at a time. It is because I use my tools.
My new Goals for Phase IX are for the period of Jan 1, 2011 thru March 31, 2011 when I will re-evaluate and re-establish. I will meet many of the goals stated below. Some I will start and some will need re-evaluated mid-stream. That is ok, I take life as it comes and yet have a plan to get something done… a day at a time, a little at a time… allowing the law of accumulation to accumulate.
Phase IX is as follows.
RELATIONAL IMPROVEMENT
X--Focus: Slow to speak, Keep it positive& Encourage
SELF IMPROVEMENT
-~Spiritual
X--Focus: Attend Growth Group
X--Learn Grace.
~Emotional
XX--Move FORWARD, leave stagnate relationships behind.
~Physical
Re-Start 9-12 week program of exercise, new 5k goals. ( I got sick and as a result, distracted and reevaluated Physical goal during Phase VIII), continue to lower transfats & Chloresteral & weight.
~Mental
X--Continue School, Transfer From Community College back to the University.< 33 credit hours!
RESPONSIBILITIES IMPROVEMENT
Change my house, change my home, change my life and the direction it is going.
X-- ~Prepare house for Inspection
~Move out upon approval of inspection
Need temp housing
X-Significantly reduce belongings
~ Get Renter In
~ Establish care of property
~Apply new job, start new life.
So now, its “HEIGH HO”… and off to work I go. To see how far I can get on each of my Goals. Any work is that much work done. When I start a goal, Ill put an “X” beside it. (SEE SOME OF THE “X”’S ABOVE). A second “XX” is significant progress, “XXX” means that a goal is nearly reached or is completed. This is means of keeping track of my progress and keeping me motivated!
My, Have I ever changed!
