Hi, guest!
Join Now
Login
Password

forgotten your password?

Join Now kmcm 's blog :: despair
 
kmcm
# # # #

Birth Date: Thu, Jan 21

Place of residence:
Out of town Ohio, United States (map)

I am: In Relationship

Schools: Bowling Green State University, Ohio State University

Jobs: Mom, Self Employed, Engineering ST I, Dialysis Tech, cosmetologist, communications specialist, Public Service, clerk, waitress,


Certificates:
        
Tools Program Stats:
Member Since: 02/23/08
Last Login: 05/11/13
Viewed: 145490
Program in:
Program Progress: Day 92
Personal Interests:
Music:
 
Books:
 
Favorite Places:
I Want To See:
Hobbies:
Activities:
Sports:
Movies:
TV:
Heroes:
I Want To Meet:
Tools Goal List:

Areas In My Life I Want To Work On

I Want To Quit Or Control

Skills I Am Interested In

I Suffer From

kmcm's Life List:
Family harmony or at least be able to be in one room together!
Better relationship with each of my kids.
Financial independance
Simplify my lifestyle

Info

 
 
Time...Fate... Tools... Still, I wait...

 

 

6
cheers
cheer it
kmcm

  kmcm

Sat, Mar 21 03:00 AM

Time...Fate... Tools... Still, I wait...

 

My has life changed over the past year.  I have "found me".  I have "gained me" back.  I "am" once again and I will continue to "be".   

 

Its the middle of the night on my night off and I am finally able to work on tools a little. After clicking "FINISHED"on day  81, I reflect a few moments on the progress as I watch the clock tick away... I think to myself,  "Still I wait".  [ My thoughts continued to wander as I wrote this blog... one thing leading to another.... First, titled ... "still I wait", but my blog took a turn, then a twist... Im stuck... searching for its title].

 

I remember how I searched for help prior to 2/23/08, the frantic feeling of knowing I was sinking to depths I didnt want to revisit.  How I "found" tools... thru prayer for some help... ANY help... anything that would offer relief from my anguish.

 

I remember how I worked through day 1, clicked finished... and waited with curiosity what would happen next.  Then day 2 clicking finished and watching the clock tick-tock, tick-tock... and over the next several weeks, waking up, rolling over, stopping whatever I was doing 15 hours and 55 minutes later so that I would be there when the 16 hour clock rolled over and I could work through yet another day, hungry for the help, hungry for the tools.

 

Still I wait...  Ever so patiently now.  It may be another week before I can get on the site again to work through my tools.  Nonetheless  I will be back.  I will work another day after the clock runs out its 16 hour course.  I will continue on this journey as it has been worth it to me!

 

How much is it worth?

 

I am fortunate that I found the site when I did.  I wonder how many others have found it when they needed it.  I wonder how many People were in worse shape than me have found it and it saved them? 

 

How I wish a childhood friend's younger sister, a single mom, had found this site prior to last weekend... when she took her own life and left her little 7 year old girl behind. 

 

Could she have worked through her anquish with tools?  Probably...

 

Im the lucky one... I have "found me".  I have "gained me" back.  I "am" once again and I will continue to "be".   

 

Time... Fate... Tools.... All in the hands of the MOST SUPREME...  Still, I wait...

 

This post is cheered by: