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Join Now Time...Fate... Tools... Still, I wait... by kmcm
 
kmcm
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Birth Date: Thu, Jan 21

Place of residence:
Out of town Ohio, United States (map)

I am: In Relationship

Schools: Bowling Green State University, Ohio State University

Jobs: Mom, Self Employed, Engineering ST I, Dialysis Tech, cosmetologist, communications specialist, Public Service, clerk, waitress,


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Tools Program Stats:
Member Since: 02/23/08
Last Login: 05/11/13
Viewed: 145594
Program in:
Program Progress: Day 92
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Tools Goal List:

Areas In My Life I Want To Work On

I Want To Quit Or Control

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I Suffer From

kmcm's Life List:
Family harmony or at least be able to be in one room together!
Better relationship with each of my kids.
Financial independance
Simplify my lifestyle

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Time...Fate... Tools... Still, I wait...

 

 

6
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cheer it
kmcm

  kmcm

Sat, Mar 21 03:00 AM

Time...Fate... Tools... Still, I wait...

 

My has life changed over the past year.  I have "found me".  I have "gained me" back.  I "am" once again and I will continue to "be".   

 

Its the middle of the night on my night off and I am finally able to work on tools a little. After clicking "FINISHED"on day  81, I reflect a few moments on the progress as I watch the clock tick away... I think to myself,  "Still I wait".  [ My thoughts continued to wander as I wrote this blog... one thing leading to another.... First, titled ... "still I wait", but my blog took a turn, then a twist... Im stuck... searching for its title].

 

I remember how I searched for help prior to 2/23/08, the frantic feeling of knowing I was sinking to depths I didnt want to revisit.  How I "found" tools... thru prayer for some help... ANY help... anything that would offer relief from my anguish.

 

I remember how I worked through day 1, clicked finished... and waited with curiosity what would happen next.  Then day 2 clicking finished and watching the clock tick-tock, tick-tock... and over the next several weeks, waking up, rolling over, stopping whatever I was doing 15 hours and 55 minutes later so that I would be there when the 16 hour clock rolled over and I could work through yet another day, hungry for the help, hungry for the tools.

 

Still I wait...  Ever so patiently now.  It may be another week before I can get on the site again to work through my tools.  Nonetheless  I will be back.  I will work another day after the clock runs out its 16 hour course.  I will continue on this journey as it has been worth it to me!

 

How much is it worth?

 

I am fortunate that I found the site when I did.  I wonder how many others have found it when they needed it.  I wonder how many People were in worse shape than me have found it and it saved them? 

 

How I wish a childhood friend's younger sister, a single mom, had found this site prior to last weekend... when she took her own life and left her little 7 year old girl behind. 

 

Could she have worked through her anquish with tools?  Probably...

 

Im the lucky one... I have "found me".  I have "gained me" back.  I "am" once again and I will continue to "be".   

 

Time... Fate... Tools.... All in the hands of the MOST SUPREME...  Still, I wait...

 

This post is cheered by:



 

comments

You are great

The coolest thing for me is to read blogs that are so well written that I want to watch for the next one.  That is the way I am with yours.  Sounds like you have really come a long way.  I am only on day 34 and I feel like I have come a long way and I can really see alot of me in your blog.  Please keep it up!!!  I love reading about your journey!!

beautiful thoughts

thanks for sharing

Sending you lots of love Sending you lots of love

Just beautiful

You know I am not sure what you are waiting for? You are in charge and you can do whatever you want to do.  It is your choice.

 

Have a great day! Angie

What I wait for...

All things... are in the hands of the most Supreme... All things tie together into some sort of understanding, given the time. 

 

As I clicked finish in the beginning, I couldnt wait for the time to pass, in order to sign on for another day in tools.  Now I wait patiently...

and I wait for that understanding that comes with time,

as I wait for the direction that the Most Supreme has in store....  I am confident that it will all turn out... it will all work out...that I am doing what it takes and that my  efforts will payoff in some way.

 

I wait... by choice, knowing that understanding takes time, I have become more patient...

 

In the case of the friends sister... we may not understand Why she did what she did... but given some time.... if we wait..... we may be able to forgive and even maybe to understand a little as to what drove her to believe that this was the only option she felt that she had.....as things begin to unravel and unfold, we may have better understanding.  Right now, it is a mystery for the most part... it is very hard to understand Why or how... she could have left her little girl behind... Still, perhaps she felt it the best option considering other choices.????

 

Still, I wait... for understanding(this). 

Beautiful

You have come so far and you are right,  Understanding does take time.

Thankyou for sharing.

Sending you a hug Sending you a hug

It works when you do!

I'm so happy you found Tools when you did.  Give yourself some credit for taking on the work involved. 

 

Tools is a wonderful program.  I am totally grateful to and in awe of those who do all the behind the scenes work to manage the site, provide the content and keep it going.  What a service to humanity.

 

I graduated awhile back, but pop in once in awhile to check things out.  It's amazing how much Tools gave me my life back to and reawakened my spirit.  I do believe that those who grab on, go for the ride and really work the program are rewarded amply.  I'm glad you found the program.