I WAS RAISED IN A VERY DYSFUNTIONAL FAMILY. MY FATHER WAS AN ALCOHOLIC WHOM BEAT MY MOTHER ON A REGULAR BASIS FOR THE FIRST 14 YEARS OF MY LIFE. MY FATHER ENDED UP HAVING A DRUNK-DRIVING ACCIDENT WHEN I WAS 16 AND THAT PARALYZED HIM FROM THE WAIST DOWN. SO HE COULD NO LONGER BEAT MY MOTHER. HE THEN BECAME VERY ADDICTED TO PAIN KILLERS AND HE SUFFERED LIKE THAT FOR 18 YEARS. HE PAST AWAY IN 2005. I WAS RAPED BY MY GRANDFATHER AT AGE 2. BY ONE UNCLE AT AGE 14 AND ANOTHER UNCLE AT AGE 16. THAT ONE WAS THE WORST. I WAS BABYSITTING IN NORTH CAROLINA FOR A SUMMER FOR AN AUNT AND HAD TO PUT UP WITH BEING RAPED PRETTY MUCH ON A DAILY BASIS. IT WAS ALWAYS BRUTAL, BEING TIED UP AND ECT. I HAD NOBODY TO HELP ME, FOR THERE WAS NOTHING BUT COWS FOR MILES. I WAS THREATNED WITH MY LIFE IF I TOLD MY AUNT AND I HAD NO PHONE TO CALL MY MOTHER SO THEREFORE I SUFFERED THE WHOLE SUMMER BEING BEATEN AND RAPED. LIVING WITH MYSELF I FOUND TO BE VERY DIFFICULT SO I STARTED TO SMOKE WEAD AND DRINK AND THEN WHEN THAT WAS NOT GOOD ENOUGH I TURNED TO COCAINE, FIRST SNORTING AND THEN SMOKING. THAT TOOK MY DOWN A REAL BAD PATH. ALL I WANTED TO DO WAS TO BE NUMB FROM THE PAIN THAT I WAS FEELING. I FOUND MYSELF PROSTITUTING JUST TO STAY HIGH ALL THE TIME. THEN THAT WAS WHEN I HIT ROCK BOTTOM. I HAD 2 DAUGHTERS THAT DIDNT WANT ANYTHING TO DO WITH ME. I HAVE LIED AND STOLE FROM ALL OF MY FAMILY SO THAT  THEN THEY DIDNT WANT ANYTHING TO DO WITH ME. I FOUND MYSELF SELLING MY BODY JUST TO FEEL WANTED FOR A MINUTE AND THEN HIGH FOR 2 MINUTES. THAT DIDNT SEEM TO WORK OUT WELL FOR ME. THEN I MET MY HUSBAND JIM WHOM PICKED ME UP AS A DATE ONE NIGHT. HE INSPIRED ME BY TELLING ME HE WAS CLEAN AND SOBER FOR 11 YEARS. WELL I WANTED WHAT HE HAD. WE TALKED FOR HOURS AND HE TOOK ME BACK TO THE ABANDONED HOUSE I WAS STAYING AT. A FEW MORE WEEKS WENT BY AND I HAD NOT SEEN JIM SINCE HE DROPPED ME OFF. I WAS STILL USING CRACK AND STILL WORKING THE STREETS. THEN ONE DAY I WAS LEAVING THIS ABANDONED HOUSE AND IT WAS BELOW FREEZING I LOOKED UP TO THE SKY AND TOLD GOD THAT IF HE SENDS ME BACK THIS ONE MAN IN THE GREEN TRUCK THAT I WILL STREIGHTEN UP AND WALK RIGHT WITH HIM. WELL IT WASNT 15 MINUTES LATER WHEN JIM PULLED UP. I THANK GOD FOR THAT. I COULDNT BELEIVE THAT HE REALLY SENT JIM TO ME. WELL IT WAS THAT NIGHT THAT I CHANGED MY LIFE. I MADE GOD A PROMISE AND I HAD TO KEEP IT. SO I ASKED JIM TO TAKE ME TO MY DAUGHTERS HOUSE INSTEAD OF BACK THERE TO THAT HOUSE. I HAVNT BEEN BACK THERE SINCE. ME AND JIM KEPT TALKING AND IT WAS 3 MONTHS LATER WHEN JIM ASKED ME TO MARRY HIM. IT WAS ON MARCH 18TH 2008. IT WAS AT OAKWOOD HOSPITAL THE DAY MY DAUGHTER TELLAH HAD MY 1ST GRANDSON THAT HE PROPOSED. I SAID YES. I ENDED UP CHECKING MYSELF INTO A ONE YEAR PROGRAM FOR ADDICTS CALLED GRACE CENTERS OF HOPE IN PONTIAC. ON THE 6TH OF OCTOBER I WILL HAVE ONE YEAR CLEAN FROM ALL ALCOHOL AND DRUGS... I AM VERY GRATEFUL TO GOD FOR SENDING ME MY HUSBAND AND FOR SHOWING ME THAT I CAN LIVE LIFE FEELING THE PAIN AND DEALING WITH THE PAIN WITHOUT BEING NUMB...

I WANT TO BE A SUCCESSFUL WOMAN. I WANT TO LEARN HOW TO LOVE MYSELF. I WANT TO HAVE A GREAT JOB. I WANT TO STAY CLEAN FROM ALL DRUGS AND ALCOHOL. I WANT TO BE A WONDERFUL WIFE, MOTHER AND GRANDMOTHER. I WANT TO LEARN MORE ABOUT THE GRACE OF GOD. I WANT TO HAVE A BETTER SELF ESTEEM. I WANT TO BE ABLE TO HELP MY 20 YEAR DAUGHTER TO BECOME CLEAN AND SOBER LIKE I AM. I WANT TO SAVE HER FROM GOING DOWN THAT DISTRUCTIVE PATH THAT I WENT DOWN. I WANT TO BE ABLE TO PROTECT MY 16 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER FROM MAKING THE MISTAKES THAT I DID. I WANT TO HAVE A WONDERFUL RELATIONSHIP WITH MY HUSBAND. I WANT THE REST OF MY FAMILY TO FIND GOD LIKE I HAVE. I WANT TO BE ABLE TO FORGIVE MYSELF FOR WHAT I HAVE DONE IN MY PAST AND BE ABLE TO MOVE FORWARD...