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Join Now Self imposed tests - walking the tight-rope by lunagolden
 
lunagolden
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Birth Date: Wed, Dec 31 1969

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Somewhere A big one, Canada (map)

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Member Since: 10/22/08
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I want to stop!
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Self imposed tests - walking the tight-rope

 

 

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lunagolden

  lunagolden

Thu, Jan 29 07:22 PM

Self imposed tests - walking the tight-rope

 

Amazing how easy, after a whole bunch of time succeeding in pushing back the demons - you can walk that very fine line and feel yourself toppling.  Didnt topple, but came dame close - and it sends back a big reminder of why I needed to get out of this in the first place - the impatience to get to the computer, the time - god the time wasted, the tension and return of the rationalization/disappointment with ones self.

So, didnt plunge into the abyss, but maybe that was just luck.  Coach hit it on the head when he said tempations are traps...the part of you that wants back in says...go, try it, you can resist - but that is the trap in and of itself.

Well, this challenge is nothing compared with what many of you are facing, and I feel foolish even writing about it...but in the spirit of honesty, there it is.

And so, in the spirit of Tools, I will now laugh at my own foolishness, tell myself that my attitude and my actions are mine to choose, and move forward again.

And I will get the hell off this machine!

Have a good night all, and a great weekend if we dont connect.

LG

# Comment (4) # View (269) # Show support

# Tags: almost screwed it all up

 

This post is cheered by:

cvos cvos Angelwings777mp Angelwings777mp kmcm kmcm angieszz angieszz DetonNation DetonNation


 

comments

DetonNation DetonNation:

Well Said!!!

Those temptations, like the shadowed curves of a beautiful woman behind a shimmering veil. Wouldnt it be nice just to peek at those old ways? Just a little look? Now thats consistency. OUr brain always wanting to look back and take the easiest route that got us here in the first place.

 

That is power. The self control and awareness you took during those moments. I think the were not an accident, and there is no luck :) It was about the hard work you put in and a natural response to protect  and love yourself.

 

Great job!!!!!!

Mike 

bdubsemail bdubsemail:

you can

you can do it keep at it ;)

kmcm kmcm:

amost screwed up, BUT DIDNT !!!!

and that is WHAT MATTERS!!!!!!

 

GOOD JOB!

angieszz angieszz:

Coming back from the absyss

I have managed to kill most of my addictions, 1 to go. It is so hard, you really need to almost completely redeal the deck of cards called life and then suddenly, one day the addiction is like a card you haven't been dealt yet, and when you are you don't know what to do with it - then you know you have won!

 

Good on you.  Have a great day! Angie