I realize that since I have my own alarm clock, separate from my boyfriend's, that I should probably unpack it and use it, instead of using his all the time, or expecting to get myself up at the same time he does. He works very early in the morning, and I have been sleeping anywhere from one to three hours more after he gets up. His alarmclock is right next to our bed, so he or I can just roll over and hit snooze. Which allows me to keep sleeping, even if I have set the alarm, which sometimes I don't.
So I'm going to set up my alarm clock across the room, and keep it set every day. That way when it goes off, I have to get up and out of bed and go across the room to turn it off, which will be better for me, I think.
I realize that sleeping too much is a huge problem of mine. I feel so hopeless, so lost and overwhelmed with everything that's going on in my life and all the things that I should be doing, that I just shut down. I escape by sleeping. I seem to always be tired, and yet I don't sleep well at night at all. I take naps during the day and sleep just fine, and then I can't sleep at night. I lay in bed next to my gently snoring boyfriend, and think of all the things I didn't get done, how horrible of a person I am, how unworthy I am of having this wonderful person loving me and taking care of me like I am a child or something.
But like the Toolbox said today, I have to start thinking positively, changing my thoughts around to be positive. Another baby step.