Acceptance or Defeat

I am faced with starting over, alone, again.

After 12 years I have been informed "it's over", but I'm a "great person with strong values".

All of those values I thought were important seem kind of meaningless now.  And yes, I did ask what those were.

He listed:  integrity, good sense of what's right and wrong, family, loyal, honest.

I used to believe that if I maintained these things, lived them, that is what would fill my life.

I was wrong.

Shouldn't I have seen this coming?  I did not.

Before we married we talked about the ups and downs of life, marriage, love.  We both agreed if the love was there, anything could be worked through.  We both believed in the vows of marriage and the investment of ones whole self.  Those same 'values' he listed as mine were the very same ones I admired in him.

I have thought of asking him where his like minded values went.  But any such conversation has proven pointless.  He claims he has not changed, he is still the same person, he just doesn't love me anymore and sees continuing the relationship as a waste of time.

I am at a loss as to what to believe now.  Have the past 12 years been an illusion?  Some days I tell myself, You cannot lose what you never had.  But it seemed so real.

I have been told, "we had some great times."  He doesn't understand how those 5 words he used to sum up our marriage only devalues the marriage, and by my love and investment, me.

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