Okay - I am definitely getting better, although still scratchy throated and coughing. I am using it as a springboard to my QUITTING SMOKING. The last cigarette that I smoked was on Wednesday after my lab at 4:00 - I bummed it from another student, I only had a total of two that day. So now it is Friday morning.... about 40 hours has passed since then, haven't bought any and haven't had too hard of a time of it so far. Yesterday afternoon, I must admit that I went to the patio ashtray, mined a "longie" and had two drags before being relatively disgusted and putting it out.
So, again - this morning I came and sat down at the Toolbox - and wouldn't you know it, there is the Coach, talking about - of all things - QUITTING SMOKING!!!! How the *(^$$#%#@#- does he DO that????? I am going in to work this morning - and although i had said in my head that I had a good start on not smoking, I know deep down that if the Coach had NOT started up on it, I had a pretty good chance of stopping on the way to work and buying a pack of smokes. But you know what? Im not going to. Yeah, that's the ticket . . . NO
The hurdle that I face is that I am having company over this weekend - a smoker - a difficult trigger - I must admit that I have the MOST difficulty with my resolve when others are indulging - I just "gotta have my share".
THEREFORE - in front of all of YOU WITNESSES.... I am making a committment to get through this entire visit (till Sunday afternoon) WITHOUT any tobacco. I will not stand next to the smoke, or ask for a hit while my friend is smoking - and I will brush my teeth every time I have a craving for a cigarette.
******************** I tend to be a very black/white kinda person - I either honor/adore something or 'shun' it. I have an extraordinarily difficult time with moderation..... and a very insistent "desire/pleasure" center! If it feels good - I want ALL of it. So - sitting home sick, without outer triggers to smoke is relatively easy - but smelling it, seeing another person enjoying it, making excuses to myself about it, saying "just one hit", etc . . . is my DEATH KNELL for committment - Send me strength friends... I know I can do it... I know you will support my efforts. I am SO GLAD THAT YOU ARE HERE. *****************************
On another note - to illustrate my devotion to the things I love - I will post a poem, a sonnet that I wrote about food....... If you like poetry, or want to try and see how it could maybe be beneficial to you in your journey to your goals, join my new poetry group and we can all write some brilliant words that make us happy!!!!! The group is called "Playing With Poetry"
This poem is an English Sonnet, a 14 line poem with a 'set' rhyme scheme and each line 10 syllables long (a traditional pattern called Iambic Pentameter) ....
The Buddha's Belly
There’s nothing quite as wonderful as this.
Crab succulent and yielding on my tongue.
Green beans with ginger, black beans and anise;
some spicy salted squid before I’m done.
Right now a little hot steamed rice will do,
then I can spoon a bit of sauce on top.
And maybe just another stalk, or two,
of Chinese broccoli and then I’ll stop.
I finish, feeling fully satisfied.
A waiter comes to pour my jasmine tea.
I wonder if the fortune cookie lied,
or whether love is truly seeking me?
My stomach pleased; my eyelids at half-mast,
I rub the Buddha’s belly as I pass.
SMILE! Today is a GREAT day!!!!!! Hope to hear from lots of you - I am so grateful to be sharing my journey with all of you. Thank you.