RED LIGHTS DILEMNA ?!

This reading and exercise on Red Lights has been the most difficult one so far for me, I still have not finished the exercise. Thinking about it really opened my eyes.

Red Lights are to guard us against destructive behaviour, which I tend to avoid anyway, I'm sort of a sensible guy naturally.

I don't do drugs, or smoke, I like a beer but not to excess, I use to eat too much but have sorted that out. But it's when it comes to people, I'm a bit of a sucker apparently.

Although I have good friends, there are people who have picked me up and dropped me in the past who are still in my life, they turn up  when it suits them, there are people who owe me money but have never paid it back including relatives, people who are cynical about everything,  cynicism to me is just entreched negativity.

I've been told Self Improvemnt programmes are for losers, needless to say I do not agree, they are for people who know what they want - winners, puroseful people, who just need a shove in the right direction. 

Admiitedly,  I may have done some of these things myself in the past, but one of my key goals and visualisations is to be closer to family and friends and cultivate those realtionships, on a basis of genuneness.

I'm starting to make new friends at Guitar school, on my Portuguese nights , on my counselling course and even at work after many years often - change of attitude shining through perhaps.

So a quandry,  or is it ?

I just did not like to think of myself in that weak position , when certain people had me in the palm of their hands, often act against my better judgement, what's that called "manipulation".

That doesn't happen anymore, but some of those people are still there, maybe the "new me" has changed them. I just don't know, and how long can I afford to wait. Should I wait ?

Have a great day, I'm off to bed, thank goodness for the Mayday holiday I need it.

martind43 

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Tags: red lights, Friendship, family