I am a 39 yr old single father of a 8 yr old boy. I am divorced and have gone thru a number of different carrers changes in the past four yrs. I am currently losing my house and have destroyed any credit rating I had after a 2yr long addiction to cocaine. My divorce has left me with very little self respect and impacted my social life to the point of being non existant. I realize that in order to make improvments in my life from this point on is going to require alot of assistance and I feel that I may have just found that in this website. A big thanks goes out to Jason Ellis for sharing his knowledge on this site which I otherwise would never have found.
I guess a liitle info on how I ended up we here I am today. I met the girl of my dreams and was married to her about 4 yrs after we started dating. We did all of the things your average couple does including buying a brand new house and car and having child. As with any newbornalot of your time is dedicated to looking after them. We would actually take turns going out on weekends (sat is your night out,fri is mine) and pretty much did the same during the week thinking that this was best so that nobody would get looking after our son. This actually never stopped because we both became more comfortable with just going out with our friends instead of doing things together and slowly but shurly we drifted apart. None the less we carried on as we were, sold our first house and bought a nicer one in a better town.. This was probably the time that I knew we were having some relationship problems but I ended up working more and compared with some of our other married friends we were in our minds still way better off that they seemed to be in there relationships. I figured its really not that bad and everything will work out in the end.
Well I guess the end started when I found that my wife was cheating on me. I couldnt belive that someone I thought loved me could betray my trust like that. Steping back from it all I decided to do what I thought was best for our son by trying to work through it and giving here another chance. So we did just that and really tried to work on our relationship. About a month after I first found out her little secret I found again that she was cheating with the same man as before. So we agreed to split and divorce.
My son of course went to live with his mother in her house and I , wanting to get as far away from society, moved as far away as I could from the city out to a quite acrerage oby the lake. My head was never really right after all of this and it was then that I really discovered cocaine. It was a fantastic getaway from reality as all the troubles in the world just seem like they can wait another day. A very comforting feeling that soon turned into a $1500 a week habit. Of course I could never seem to get to work on time or even go to work anymore so I soon lost the best job I had ever had. A job that took 15 yrs of hard work to get!!!God I hate cocaine, but just a little will make things better! At least thats what I kept telling myself until finally I was flat broke. Hell I pawned off almost everything I had that was cool and the mortgage was now so far behind there was no catching up. So here we are now with one week before I have to leave and Im going to end up putting my belongings into storage because I cant even afford to come up with rent and damage deposite on a rental property. Pathetic!
Ive heard that if you really want to rebuild something you have to knock it right down to the foundation. Well I think I'm there and I can easily say that kicking the coke should be easy after seeing the aftermath of all this and I have made some real headway but dont have it beat just yet
Funny thing is that I actually signed onto this site in 2008, completed three days and was never back. (prob to busy snorting cocaine). Today I am back and I'm not leaving so soon this time around.
With so much to set straight I think I will leave this one alone for now.