Flare Ups

This last Saturday, I had a really tought night inregards to missing my ex-girlfriends badly.  We have been broken up for the last 2 months or so and I haven't talked to her once since then.  I catch myself at times thinking about her, remembering the great memories we shared together, wondering if she still thinks about me, or if she misses me as much as I mss her at times.  I can honestly say that the amount of times I do that have decreased and the the unfortunate defense mechanism I use to not feel sad and depressed is that I try and erase her from my mind.  Unfortunately, it's not working real well and Saturday night I really wanted to call her and tell her how I felt.  I didn't, but the emotional wave that took me over that night was very intense and for the last day or two, it has really been on my mind.  I'm coming to realize that I am dealing with my first broken heart with the first girl I ever fell in love with at the age of 28 and I am trying to adjust to how to get through it.  The Holiday lesson today was effective with Valentine's day coming up and looking at how that is going to make me feel without her in my life and things I can do to not let the Holiday blues get to me.  I hope that someone reading this can understand where I am at and any advice would be truly helpful.

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Tags: relationships, Depression, hope, holidays, love