Okay so as i ended the past section i live in California and work for my brother but with this being over 850 miles from any of my friends i have no social life anymore. Back in Washington i knew everyone i went to highschool with and got along with everyone and i miss everyone of my friends. while i am glad to be working i have always had a friend to talk to or hangout with when i was bored and now it almost feels like im being forgotten because none of my friends try to contact me. and as for family back home its even worse i feel as though i was forced to come down here to work, at first i wanted to just make up some money for college but then i was basically pressured into living down here. iv always been a shy person so i never really stand up for myself which lets people basicallly controll my life. Now i know that it sounds life a shitty life but i have had it pretty well ill admit but everyonce in a while i have nights where i just feel like shit and that i have made to many mistakes in my life that i cant make better. Needless to say this is one of those nights, i feel like my plan of coming down to california to work has turned into me getting stranded here and not making any profit out of it, when i first came down here i lived at my brothers house and didnt have to pay rent which was nice and i had a car that i loved, since then i moved into an appartment with my other brother and bought another car thinking that it would be fine but it has ended up being alot more than i though, i stress about making payments on time and then after i get it all payed i stress about not having a comfortable amout of money in my accout. I heard about toolstolife.com on the radio and figured i might as well give it a try because it couldnt hurt and im hoping that it helps me feel more secure and better about my life.

Well i was born in Bremerton Washington October 29th 1990 and lived in a small town called Port Townsend with my parents, 2 older brothers, and an older sister. Ever since i can remember my parents fought all the time until i was about 5 or 6 when the finally split up, i stayed with my mom and would go over to my fathers everyother weekend but that slowly stopped to the point that i would go years without seeing him even though he lived 10 miles away. For some reason i have always been innsecure with myself, iv lived most of my life feeling ugly and fat even when i looked back at old pictures and saw i was a twig in stature. I was always involved in sports being football basketball track and baseball so as i got older i grew more athletic and got into working out alot in highschool. I was always known to be in the weightroom trying to get bigger and look better which i figured was my way of copeing with the fact that i thought i was very good looking but the only problem was i was never satisfied. After my obsession became a hobby i decided i would make it a career so after graduating highschool i started taking classes at the nearest community college to become a PE teacher. My family has never been very wealthy so it didnt take long for me to be forced to drop out because i couldnt afford it anymore on a minimum wage part time dishwashers pay. fortunatally my older brother who lives in california owns his own company and set me up with a job and thats where i have been for the last 6 months now. starting a new life in a new area would be alot easier if i went to school but it seems like i work all day and when i get off its time to eat and go to bed to do the same thing the next day.

I want to ba a PE teacher but right now my job is no where near my goals.