Why is it that even though I love my kids and would do anything for them - when they tick me off I go into a full ape shit bozo rage? I mean do I do that with any other living creature? No.
I mean seriously - you know those horrible arguments you have with people just before you break up - the ones where you get everything out you always wanted to say, even making shit up if you have to?
I get more angry at my kids than THAT.
I think Annie Lamott (Lamont? Have a hard time remeembering) says that its because of the rage you feel toward your boss, your sister, your BFF that you can't really express in the way it's perfectly acceptable to do to your children.
Someone on tools once said, that I should try to be more of a dick at work and save 'good Paul" for home. I see the point, but in general if you are an ass at work you get fired (or promoted, but it's a crap shoot) whereas in general, the people who love you as family will stay with you (even when they don't like you that much or...I should say, don't like what you are DOING very much).
I just googled "how to avoid getting angry at your children" and one of the gazillion hits I got was from someone who suggested that saying, in the heat of anger, "Thanks for letting me work on my character traits".
I'm not convinced it'll work, but I'll give it a shot.