I can do it!! I really can!!!

Another post in less than 24 hours!!  Great stuff!!

The last week has realy challenged me.  Hearing myself say beautiful and lovely things to myself has sent me into a less than lovely space.  It has thrown up great waves in reaction of self-loathing and emptiness and GREYNESS.  The result has been a great lethargy and sadness and I have become sick with a nasty cold.  I can feel my body reject it, then I am soaked with another cold cold wave and the cold/flu resurges.  it has been fascinating to observe!  And even while I have been soaked with all of this, I still forge ahead, except as if with great weights on my arms and legs, as if I am walking through treacle, whereas before, I was fair flying!!  And even so, every now and then a great surge of joy would overtake me as like the sun breaking through clouds. 

So I have continued to the best of my ability to do the things I have learnt in tools and in my life to stay with my life purpose.  And I have been achieving great things!  I hosted a friend and Fullbright scholar from Alaska/Hawaii this past week and co-ordinated her talks and workshop etc.  Was awesome!  AND I can now run 3kms comfortably and have now set a goal to run a marathon in 7 months (after prompting from my friend Moana), as well as stimulated at 4 others to do a half-marathon at least.  And this, running against my self-doubt and self-sabotage... the prospect of what I can achieve without that in my way is... well, quite simply, astounding!!  I have re-recorded my self-talk/self-help tapes as I listened to the first one I recorded and it was so full of doubt and only undermined the words.  The ones I have done now resonate with belief and support and love for myself.  What a breakthrough!

And I have to say, sharing with others is so so important in this process.  It is one thing to realise these things and work on our own, and that is great!  There is something very magical that happens though when we share.  It is like we create on an exponential level, because if we all are truly one, surely everything I do to help myself only helps all others, and to state it consciously and without fear and with great love only amplifies this!!

Ah my goodness!  Truly we create our own lives!  And yes! as my good friend Malia says "Hallelujah!!!"  I am truly blessed and loved and successful!!  I really am....  How cool is that?!? And SO ARE YOU!!!  Blessings and arohanui (great love) to you all- my cup is neither half-full nor half-empty, my cup truly overfloweth :-)

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Tags: love, joy, sharing, caring, dark night