My Life, My Way

Hey tools to lifers!!

It has been 192 days since I logged in here.  That equals about 6-7 months!  It has been an amazing time too.  I have been practising the tools I learnt here, along with many of the others I have picked up along the way in my life.

I was on such a high after completing the original program and it certainly helped me to prioritise myself and my life (for perhaps the first time ever!) and has helped me to become more of who I am.

Then I started another programme and began to suspect that I was perhaps getting a little addicted to this... so I decided to wander off and try and see what would work long-term in my life from tools and exactly how I wanted my life to be.  And also to cultivate the deep and fulfilling relationships I had/have in my life outside of the computer... and to release some of those that no longer benefitted either me or the other person... not easy, but so liberating for me, and I am sure for them too...

And it is a wonderful and beautiful life.  Never without challenge and opportunity, but full of precious moments that I had always let slip past me before.

Like last night... I am in Boston at the moment, visiting with my brother Russell who has married a wonderful American woman.  I spent a wonderful day visiting with their family here.  Then after watching the Red Sox game, I went for a night-time swim in their pool and watched the lightning and swam in the rain... Magic...

I have just been on a whirlwind trip to Hawaii-Vienna-Italy and now Boston.  I had a conference in Vienna and decided to make the most of the trip- blending business and personal (in my own tried and true fashion).  Spending time with exceptional people, linking back with my brother and his new family here, making opportunities for myself in my work, and exploring the world!

This trip, my daughter didn't come with me (she stayed with my folks).  I missed her so much, but at the same time, have enjoyed the opportunity to be out here.  Looking forward to going home tomorrow though!  She is definitely coming back with me next time- now that I know I can navigate airports, jetlag and foreign cities/languages...!

My last remaining grandparent died while I was away too.  That was very hard to be away from my family at home...  he was ill before I left, but not dying... So I am grateful for the time I got to spend with him before I left.  I wrote this poem that my sister shared at his funeral.  Just sharing with you...

A Private Grief

In the small dark hours

when others sleep

and we lie awake

holding our pain close

We know

this grief

is ours alone

and

none can share

in the weight

the fathomless depth

We may cry

often we do not

the crushing sadness

allows not for breath

to give voice

to this

Solace perhaps

comes

when we are so exhausted

so entirely worn

from grieving

we cross the line

between life & death

to hold the hand of our dearest

as they

prepare to leave us in this lifetime

wavering

within the veil

that separates us from

eternity

____________________

I believe my grandfather is at peace.  I feel him in the air... I felt him while I was flying over the Swiss Alps on the day he died... I believe we never truly lose those we love, they simply become a part of everything..  the very air we breathe...

My heartfelt blessings to all of you on this journey and I hope you don't let those precious moments slip by... 

A special special thanks to kmcm for her little messages long after I had disappeared... it meant so much not to be forgotten here...  You are an angel...

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