I would like to change my life for the better. I want to manage my drinking as I am an alcoholic but i like to drink so I want to cut that down from almost everyday to maybe one to 2 days a week if that. I want to quit smoking cigarettes which I usually only do smoke anymore when i drink but thats a lot at the moment >< I want to marry my wonderful fiance karen I just want to change my life for the better.
I was up until 8 AM this morning Drinking and taking percoset while playing world of warcraft with my brother. Another stupid decision i feel crappy and my anxiety is up and down right now. These are the things i want to just slap myself repeatedly for doing because everytime i have a hangover or anything my anxiety is threw the roof and i repeate myself over and over again telling myself to change this for the better of myself and people around me yet I just keep relapsing i like drinking just want to manage it from like almost everday drinking to maybe once or twice a week if that Ah its frustrating and hard for me with OCD, anxiety/panic disorder.
The fact that you want to slap yourself means you are getting close. You need to get fed up and not tollerate behavior that you know is distructive to your life. It sounds like you are getting there. Once you truly are fed up and are attached to a decision of change, change will happen. It won't be easy, but it will happen and it will be worth it.
You are in the right place, stick with Tools and do it everyday!
Regret is a b**** and if you let it take a hold of you it will break you down into what you were before. Keep going and don't let those little bumps in the road keep you from achieving your goals. Sorry if that was a little corny or over-used:)