Life sometimes makes demands of us that we are not ready to handle but nevertheless we must face. So was my task this last weekend.
While sitting in a fine hotel in Oslo, Norway, Saturday after a successful tour of Denmark with my band...(all of which I would have gladly sacrificed to be home); I was faced with the unwanted task of making a decision about my furry little sidekick that had been a part of our family for 17 years.
My buddy Chester a pomeranian had suddenly experienced kidney failure of which there is no return, only hope that he could hold on till I could fly back Sunday night...24 + hours away. After praying for guidance in making the hardest decision in my life while 6000 miles away on another continent...it was made clear that Saturday was his day to leave...to soon for me but Sunday would be too long for him. A decision I could not bear to make.
I had taken a John Maxwell book with me titled "Thinking For A Change" and remembered the chapter "Reality Thinking" which had a line I needed to find. Upon finding the statement - "Reality thinking is the difference between what you wish to be and what actually is", I was suddenly able to think clearly and realize that I am a selfish man and would let my little dog hang on till I got back because all I wanted was to see him one more time before he had to go, and he would have... But I couldn't let him do that, I had to let go and not try to keep him past his time. Like I said too soon for me but too long for him.
We were blessed with some very fine and loving medical caregivers that gave wise and compassionate counsel to our family and for our sick family member. So when I placed the call to the hospital and his doctor that he would be coming in, almost at the very samemoment he let and died in my wife's arms very quickly and easily which had been my secret wish all the while. God made a way out of a heart wrenching decision that spared not only my buddy but myself from a task that I would never have recovered from.
What does this have to do with self improvement or Tools To Life you ask?....
Well, in his last moments my pal taught me to look in between what you wish for and what actually is to find the balanced answer you need to difficult decisions that may arise in life, business or most of all family.
Randee McLee
Chester Melnick
comments
Chester - Living on in memories
Randee,
I too have read J. Maxwell's work and agree that reality and life does go on it's way, we can go with or or go to the river of denial - not fun!!
I know Chester is still with you, it takes awhile to lessen the loss. My poochie is almost 12 and she never leaves my side. She is more attached than ever. She goes to work with me and loves, really loves, anywhere and anthing we do...together.
I know her leaving me in the near future.....within the next year or so....she has Cushing's syndrome.....is a reality. I talk to her now and tell her, what a BEST friend she has been....I am right there with you. Thanks for the reality check.
Cathie
CHESTER IS VERY PEACEFUL NOW ... AT THE RAINBOW BRIDGE
Hi Randee,
I just don't know where to start. I feel for you deep inside. Same as how I feel for my friends' furry children who had also gone to the Rainbow Bridge.
Before I go deep further, let me welcome you to Tools. And instead of saying my piece on how great this site is (which I normally do), let me just tell you about it in the shortest context: TOOLS is truly wonderful (the whole lot entailed - wholesome exercises, awesome community, real great program).
I was about to close my shop (box). I just finished my regular routine (did some few long responses to emails and one comment to a blog of a dear friend ... even with my dog's line included in it!). And I was so much in great mood after. Decided to look once more to the Blogs Section (before finally closing the "shop"). And there goes your blog. And with such a soft spot as far as dogs are concerned, here I am trying to contain myself before I did this comment.
To be honest, I was teary-eyed when I finished reading it (Chester's picture was the one that caught my eyes first. Bless his soul).
I felt sad because it reminded me of my friends' dogs who passed away (of different circumstances - age, accidents, sickness, and others). At least your precious Chester made it to his wonderful 17th. You have those beautiful years of blissful memories that he lovingly shared with you and your family. And that is priceless!
I don't have children but I have an apple of my eyes. I always endearingly call her my "4-legged daughter" and named her Unica (Spanish name/term for "only daughter"). She's a 6-1/2 year old Staffordshire bull terrior, brindled black and white. She's got a dear pal (same breed, same colour, almost same age) - a friend's precious girl, too.
Two years ago, my friend called and broke to me a sad news. An accident happened. While the 2 of them was playing fetch (it was dark, almost after sunset - the dog really wanted to play more), there was no more stick to play with - because the dog couldn't find/fetch it. So, she decided to break the remaining stick (branch) into half. The half was lost again. Then she broke the other half again (shorter this time). When she threw that last short stick, she heart a loud shriek. She looked for her dog (in the dark). And there she was lying in the pool of blood. The stick went straight into her mouth (instead of catching it horizontally) piercing her lung ... and in no time, she was gone (even before my friend was able to take her to the car). After that sad phone call, I run to my dog and hugged the whole of her (as if I've never seen her in years!). She must have thought I was out of my mind (she was sleeping at the time).
That was 2 years ago, and each time my friend and I talk about her dog, we both end up in tears. It is really sad hearing stories like this. I've never been so attached to dogs this much. I was used to having family dogs (when I was still single and living with my parents). But having one to myself and my husband is an entirely different scenario. And I could understand your predicament. We would give our life for them, don't we?
To add, dog enthusiasts believe that our dear pets wouldn't want their masters to see them leave (see, even in their last remaining breath, they wouldn't want us to suffer seeing them go). It was even told that some of those dying dogs who have a chance to still walk would run as far as they could. And die peacefully, away from their loved ones. I do believe it. They really wouldn't want us to suffer seeing them pass away. Incredible! I thought I would mention you this one, too. Knowing how hard it was for you to either dash out to his deathbead or let him go peacefully. And he did go in bliss ... in your wife's arms.
Well, back to the Rainbow Bridge (you could be aware of this "mythical place"). If so (even then) I want to tell you a bit of this place (as how I told my grieving friend about it).
Rainbow Bridge was a place created by one dog lover which could have been done so, for a lot of reasons (one is to appease grieving pet owners who lost their beloved pets). It is a place where everything is bright and green, where all the pets are happy, where there is bountiful of toys and food and drinks. Not one animal gets thirsty nor hungry. Everyone is having a time of their life - eating and playing ... a real paradise for them.
Suddenly one of them (a dog) stopped playing, his ears moved up and his tail wagged with enthusiasm. He run fast to the Rainbow Bridge ... to meet his most revered master ... the two joyfully walked side by side ... never to be parted again! How endearing, isn't it.
So, to sum things up, yes, Chester is definitely peaceful and happily playing to where he is now ... at the Rainbow Bridge. Amen. (I hope it helped to ease you out a bit).
On a happier note, enjoy your journey with this program. Clap, splash, brush, smile. Have a great day, Randee!
Cheers,
Autumn Mist
Hard Decisions, Indeed!
Dearest Randee,
I truly feel your pain. At one time, I raised and showed my Yorkies. There was always one from the litter I couldn't resist, and would keep.
When our furry friends come into our lives, we know that it is but a short time they dance with us. I have had to put five dogs down due to old age (I'm grateful to say they lived very long, spoiled, and happy lives and didn't have their lives end abruptly by accidents). I held each in my arms, it was the least I could do for them, and I didn't want them to see some stranger as their little eyes went to dark.
I had one incident occur shortly after my beloved Winston's time had come. When I got home, one of my Yorkies that was always a bit stand-offish, assumed his personality for about a week. She followed me everywhere. It was like Winston saying Goodbye to me through her. After a week, she went back to being her "normal" stand-offish self.
Let your music play on for your beloved Chester. Be thankful for the antics and smiles he gave to you. If and when you are ready, perhaps another furry friend will grace your life. I believe our animals pick US, not the other way around....
I so agree with Autumn in her description of "Doggie Heaven" and this is where I believe my "Bunny" "Pippi" "Linsee" "Ace" and "Winston" are....
God bless,
Jane
On another Note......
I forgot to add a couple of things, and I don't mean to be a "blog hog" on your blog, but this is important for me to share with you.
When my Winston was really sick, I took him to the Vet and put him on medication. One day he was out planting flowers with me, the next he could hardly hold his head up. I finally took him back a week later where my vet told me that he was holding on for ME. It was then I knew I needed to let him go....
The second thing I want to say is WELCOME to Tools! Please continue through the program, and make friends with all the fabulous, supportive group that will assist you through your journey!
-Jane