Paradox.

Every time I try to write about myself, I am confronted with poles - the philosopher, the fighter...  the lover, the angry (not-so) young man...  the social liberal, the fiscal conservative...  the pilgrim, the libertine...  the intellectual, the tv-watching zombie...

what's a boy to do?

maybe i'll come back and change this once i have more time to really make sense of this.  maybe it will stand as a testament to pay more attention to myself.

Well I was born in a small town
And I live in a small town
Probly die in a small town
Oh, those small communities

sorry ... i couldn't resist.

i was born in italy, actually, on a military base.

then to chittenango, ny - a little lump of suburbia near syracuse.  graduated in a class of about 200 people (and i use that term loosely).

BOCES taught me some graphic design.

then to RIT for film/video.  for 6 months.  too expensive, too little learning.

then i got kicked out of my mom's house... i was 18 and clueless.  bounced from job to job and apartment to couch to car.  eventually got some help from a girlfriend's parents (thank you Don and Nancy, i will never forget all you did for me) and started building a life worth something.

went through a real rough spot with drugs and alcohol ... out of control nonsense, which in hindsight, was really just a way to avoid awareness of my problems.  if you're blissed out on pills, the dirty dishes aren't even on the radar.

then, ironically enough, i had a mental/spiritual breakthrough while tripping  at a Phish show.  I quit smoking cigarettes, stopped eating meat, stopped doing hard drugs... and haven't turned back since.  it wasn't religious, per se, unless you're using the real meaning of the word (to relink), in which i did relink with my own power.

that was ten years ago.

***

i met Melissa almost 7 years ago, and she has changed my life as much as anything.  she is a beautiful person who makes me realise more than she will ever know.  she brings me strength to do whatever i need to.  she gives me a reason to make this world better.

we were married on June 24th, 2006, and life has been great since...

is so bright, i have to wear shades. 

2009 will see my first full-time hire and a near-doubling of revenue.  (which means i can quit the night job ... omg ... that will be SWEET)

it will also see my wife and I purchasing a house.

it may also see me as a Dad.  !!!

and to quote a fellow genius, something everyone should do...  "Harden the f*ck up"