Hitting Critical Mass

I'm posting today before I do my Tools Day because I find, after devoting time to the lesson, I feel the need to return to my regular day to day stuff.  Consequently, I have not been sharing.  I find the lessons sinking in overnight or throughout the day.  They don't always have an immediate effect on me.  I take awhile to absorb the lesson. 

Yesterday was difficult for me.  A lot of old stuff came up, stuff I need to deal with in a new, more responsible manner.  More cleaning up of my life.  This has to do with my present financial situation.  I've been dealing with things the best I could up to this point.  Now I know better, so I must do better.

I used to use the excuse that I could not handle things better because I did not have the support of a significant other.  Well, now I do.  Now there is no excuse.  Yesterday I laid it all out on the table, we talked about things.  He is supportive (as always) and optimistic.  He also uses the term "we" as in "We can handle this".  I'm not used to such support and it shook me up yesterday.  I also felt a lot of fear around feeling dependent on someone else.  Letting go a little.  What we strive for is interdependence.  To say it and to feel it are still two separate things.  I'll get there.

I'm changing and in ways I could not have anticipated.  I attribute the changes to learning new Tools to handling Life. 

Comment (1) View (241) Show support

Tags: