new me

 Ok I know that was a while away from the program but I needed that time away. Because now I am actually looking forward to going through with this. I've just finished day 1 again and will be back tomorrow for day 2. Starting from scratch and making it all the way this time.  I feel a little stand offish and I know thats only because my mind knows that its about to go through an entire overhaul of my life and make it better. I can feel that in many ways I'm trying to convince myself of not going through with it because I have a very comfortable and lazy life to where I really only do about an hour of brain activity a day and the rest is spent in a vegetative state either watching tv, getting fatter (while thinking about wanting to change my life), or playing mindless games online distracting me from real life. If I spent the same amount of time I do on Zuma on my life I would be able to do my tools, workout and spend at least 10 minutes stretching, so thats exactly what I'm going to do. No more computer games till I get where I want to be and have a productive life schedule and actually adhere to it. Just like when we are kids and we are supposed to handle our responsibilities and then play. I will do the same. I will wake up, do my checklist, go about my day and do all of my responsibilities, and then once all of them are gone for the day, then I will relax and play something online. Even though I have a feeling once I get into studying for school I'm not going to even remember Zuma. Not a bad thing I have lots to do if I want to have the life I want.

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