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roland
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Birth Date: Sun, May 13 1979

Place of residence:
LaMirada Ca, United States (map)

I am: Single & Dating

Schools: LMHS, Fullerton JC

Jobs: Construction inspector,


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Member Since: 06/12/08
Last Login: 01/13/12
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attitude

 

 

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  roland

Sat, Dec 20 03:29 AM

attitude

 I have great well being and i have a part of me that is selfdestructive!  Every time I find something that is good for me to the point that it would benefit myself and those around me I make an effort to ruin it because that s the way i function.  Not to say my life is bad or that I wish i had it any other way. Too tell you the truth its really hard for me to give a fuck about anything other than a few close friends.  My emotional range goes on a scale from 1 to 10 goes to 5 ,and stays there ,no matter what i dont fel happy or sad i have been emotionaly enept for longer than i can remember.  The only thing that has mad me feel in the last five years is the aftermath of doing extacy for 3 days in a row and my dad having heart surgery.  As far as relationships go people in general love me but im still not good at it.   Thanx for your time im venting and all is true!  Rp 

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Hey Roland,

That self destrictive side is the side of you that is crying for help or wanting attention.  You've chosen to do it in a way that is not healthy for you.  I'm happy that you have realized this about yourself.

 

Keep with the program, I think you will be amazed at some of the self realizations you make. And, the obstacles that you throw into your life will be just simple hurdles to cross on your path back to feeling.

 

In order to receive love, you must give it.  Regardless of whether you are good at it or not, you must still be giving it in order to be getting it back.  Don't hold back so much.

 

Deb