About me? Hmm I think I am weird. I feel that I have major social problemes. I often feel that people are unreliable. I also feel that working on relationships with friends, or trying to make friends is a waste of time because it's all gonna end sooner or later. I try to act really confident, and then people see it as cocky, but in reality i am probably the most self conscious person in the world. I am in college and I don't know what for, that hurts the worse. I also work I am actually starting a new job. The training we are being provided with, and all the information seems really overwhelming, and I am starting to boubt myself. I look for acceptance in men, and sex. But lately i've learned that is a waste of time. I am also slowly starting to become a man hater not being able to trust what anyone has to say not just men, butin the same sense i can be a little naivve. I also hate my body, this issue may be the stem to every other problem in my life. I am overweight, I ve al;ways felt out of place with my weight. Regardless of who I am with, or where i am at i  beleive that someone is looking at me I like ugh. When I go out with guys I feel sorry for them to be seen with me. In the same sense I beleive I am beautiful and I don't have thoughts of killing myself, unlike when I was in jhs. I just want to be happy , I know everyday can't be happiness, but everyday can't be sadness. I am looking to change my life now i don't know where I am going career wise, I am sick of little retail jobs, and my patience (if i ever had any) is running thin.

Like i said before i just want to be happy. It seems that I have noone in my life but my mom, and I constantly think about how I will be when she dies. i would like to have my own business, I love life I never question if I am met to be here, I just want to learn how to appreciate it more. Hopefully I wil have no more money issues.