tec4: 2008-10-24

says:

Sounds like "Everyone Loves Raymond" TV show.  Some characters enjoy being control freaks...like my two sister-in-laws, that I only remember from holiday nightmare dinners.

Sometimes, talking about bad behavior is the worst thing to do...they may never change or care what you think...as much as they say do.  Stop talking until they leave...can't live for someone else.  Some bad behavior looks for trouble...fire goes out when talk stops...and friendship sneaks in.

MAKE your partnership a TWO way benefit, at YOUR home...did't work well for Raymond but an extreme case for TV viewing.

ninameliss: 2008-10-14

says:

Good for you for asking for support when you need it! I dealt with that, too, and for the longest time, I would feel guilty for feeling that way, instead of listening to me inner voice that was telling me that this was unacceptable, and that I don't need to expose myself to that! Oh, man, I'm sorry to say this, but in my case, my husband's family dissolved, and don't have much of a relationship with one another anymore. Their decisions to own.

What can you do to make the situation one that you feel more comfortable? What if their visits were limited in length or in how often? Would they be open to meeting somewhere else instead? Like rotating between the houses? Maybe you have some remodeling work to do in your home that would make it impossible to have guests over at all for a peroiod of time?

What about using Rule of 20 to think of 20 alternatives for you to suggest. Let them know that they are no longer welcome at your home, but that you have 20 alternatives to suggest.