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Join Now Forgiveness by snstromme
 
snstromme
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Birth Date: Thu, Jun 16 1983

Place of residence:
Williston North Dakota, United States (map)

I am: Single & Dating

Schools: College Degree in Poli Sci and Criminal Justice

Jobs: Private contractor for oil company

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Member Since: 10/27/08
Last Login: 01/04/10
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  snstromme

Sat, Oct 31 01:07 PM

Forgiveness

 I always thought the hardest part of being my best self was to find out what it was that made me dislike myself. I thought if I could find the root of my inner angst that it would magically resolve itself. It turns out that is not the case. I have now recognized that I can not make people be what I wish they were. I can not make my parents be supportive and role models, I can not make people love me and I can not beat my head against the wall for things I have not done right amd I can't continue to hate myself for gaining 80 pounds in 5 years because I'm sad. But now I struggle with how to let these things go and how do I forgive myself for trying to make people be what they are not., including myself. How do I let all this go to start to like myself again? I never thought this would be the hardest part.

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creativeamp68 creativeamp68 RPowers RPowers


 

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RPowers RPowers:

The Buddah In Your Mirror..

Wether we're 10 or 36... sometimes we want things that will just simply never be.. 

 

I like you, slammed my head against the wall for years (i'm 36), changing what I did, how I acted, how I spoke to each member of my family.. all in hopes to mke the family unit better.

But you know what  just clicked for me..   ..at age 36.. ....they are what they are. 

 

It's a serine, peaceful state you need to be in, in order to truly "accept" or "be good with" what that truly means..  

 

Trust me, for years (up untill this year) I would say "they are 'x' way, I 'll adjust.." It made me sad, angry, & hateful. However, it wasn't until I began reading The Buddah In Your Mirror that I was able to truly see the difference in what I wanted/how I was VS. the life my family was (stuck) in. 

 

It's  very empowering.

 

I'm/we're here for you.. 

 

Be well,

Rebecca-

RPowers RPowers:

P.S. ..you are N-E-V-E-R alone!!

Sending you lots of love Sending you lots of love

creativeamp68 creativeamp68:

As the old adage goes...

..."One Day at a Time", snstromme. I struggled with my relationships (family and romantic) as well trying to figure out how I could change them until I realized only recently that I could only change myself.

 

I think you coming to the realization is a BREAKTHROUGH for you. Journal it here because when you look back on it a three months, a year from now, I guarantee you will feel much better! 

 

We're all here for you. Don't give up. Take each day individually. Live in the now. 

 

I promise you it gets better.