New hair cut, but intimidated

well, let me tell you. I got a new hair cut! okay, i`ll be honest, its the same hair cut that I always get. But at least my ends are all trimmed up. lol

I also got some sweet new boots. They`re those new stylish thigh high booties. they`re black suede. I can`t wait to where them to school! (i definately sound like a little kid, lol)

I just feel so happy in general. But I have a pattern. I talk myself into getting out of a negative funk and I feel good, (well at least better than before) but then i let myself go mentally and then i feel worse than before.

But i`m pretty sure this won`t happen again. Every day I play the little video and it says `you`re still here! awesome!!`. and then i say`ya, I am. go me!` haha. But seriously, it actually does make me feel really in control.

About my book ideas, i still feel really jazzed. I titled this entry as `intimidated` because i learned some things that made me scared.

I thought, yes this is something that i believe i can do, yes this is something that i want to do. so...i should probably do something about that, eh! lol. So, i researched it. these are the things i found out.

-i need an agent

-i need a lawyer

-i need to hire an editor

-i need to be prepared for inevitable criticisms and rewrites 

-i need more than one `story`, (which is fine, i`ve got lots) 

-i need to do more research on which publishing companies publish what genres

Another thing that i learned was that when i send in my `roughs`, publishers frown on also receiving illustrations, they prefer to hire their own illustrators. this bothered me when i read it. I have my own illustrations! i like them! i`m a good artist i think! i don`t know what to do about that situation yet.  

All these things kinda freak me out. they seem really scary and complicated. but so did my first semester of college, and i can`t think of other examples but i am sure there are lots.

next i`m going to make a to do list, outside of my daily tools list, and make this come together. I hope i stick with this. i want this to happen  

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Tags: goals, dreams, hope, happy