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Join Now One week by sonja_anne21
 
sonja_anne21
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Birth Date: Mon, Sep 21 1987

Place of residence:
st albert alberta, Canada (map)

I am: In Relationship

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Member Since: 12/15/09
Last Login: 01/05/10
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sonja_anne21

  sonja_anne21

Mon, Jan 04 11:14 AM

One week

 

Alright so i should be more than one week along by now, but i keep forgetting to click finish. Ugh, thats a crapy surprise when i'm all ready for my little pep talk.

 

I'm feeling worried. I'm worried because i'm not doing everything on the checklist everyday. I have no reason for this. I mean, I feel better about myself, kinda, but i think i'd be doing a lot a lot better if i was actually make the best effort i could to follow the checklists.

 

I am doing a few things though. I am: stopping myself when i say negative things in my head and out loud, and then correct myself. and. I say 'i'm having a great day'. and. I am listening to, and recognizing when i have heard, my inner voice. and. I am TRYING to stop and smile at myself, but i'm scarred of someone at work seeing me and laughing and making fun (i know, lame excuse eh?) 

 

I know its not all the things on the checklist. I was feeling really guilty, but now that i think about it, its still positive changes. 

 

I am having mega hard times waking up properly. I can get up at like five to make a lunch for my boy friend and say goodbye, but i just go right back to bed, haha. I know why this is though. I stay up late and read and read. I just can't put a book down. I know that if i just save some of my book for later i'll get to sleep at a decent time and be able to wake up. 

 

I just feel really really guilty. I think 'what if i had been following all the things on the checklist to a T, where would i be? how would i feel?' i'm going to try harder

# Comment (5) # View (167) # Show support

# Tags: tools, commitment, effort, guilt

 

This post is cheered by:

JadeDragon (canceled account) JadeDragon (canceled account) creativeamp68 creativeamp68 earthfireg earthfireg cheetah7712 cheetah7712 Captain_K Captain_K


 

comments

earthfireg earthfireg:

Wow!

First off, stop beating yourself up so much!  That is the past.  Look at changing your pattern today and move onto tomorrow with a new mindset.  As you said in your blog you will try harder, so good start for you in getting that.  Your past patterns will not change overnight so take it one thing at a time and one day at a time.  Most importantly be kind to yourself.  I can tell you from my past experience beating yourself up and feeling so guilty about everything will just make you sick.  It put me in the hospital with what I thought was a heart attack.  It just is not worth it.  Life is to short so just enjoy every second that you are able to breathe and walk on the earth.  I hope that peace can reach your mind and your heart.  brian

cheetah7712 cheetah7712:

I second Earthfire

Also, change cannot happen overnight! You are building this into your routine so eventually it becomes habit. After one week, I was not doing everything PERFECTLY. Heck, I'm on Day 30 now and although I am still feeling great, I do not every single day follow my checklist 100%. I do make my best effort however and I am seeing positive change every day and it's getting easier and easier to do the things I have resolved to do. The important thing is to not give up, keep giving it your best effort and if you make a mistake or don't do something as much as you feel you should, try again the next time! You are going to do great with this program! 

creativeamp68 creativeamp68:

TRUST US, Sonja...

...earth, cheetah, and myself have all been where you're at now. The process takes a while to sink in, but once you "get it" you won't feel ashamed about smiling at work. When I see other people so down at my job, I think of how much better an attitude I HAVE. You will see.

 

Hang in there! You're doing GREAT!

puma427 puma427:

a new day

It is so cliche but you cant beat yourself up over the past. Each day is a new day and a gift. So you didnt do the check list before. Today is a new day embrace it. Post the list somewhere like on your bathroom mirror that really worked for me. Keep up the great work and dont be so hard on your self you are doing great