At age 54 i came to live in the area where i was born, i had not been here for more than 30 years.

The area is the Peninsula of Gaspe in Quebec located at 1000km from the nearest city. La Gaspesie is a

very large peninsula reaching the ocean in Canada.It is indeed a truly beautiful area with 4 seasons. In October the leaves go from green to red just in time for Halloween.

It was september 2005 and i got here on a bus in a very sad state. The lady picking me up was Johanne Becu from the local mental health facility called

l'eclaircie which is french for "the clearing". I felt that the name was appropriate for my situation.

June 12th 2009

Since returning to the town where I grew up a lot has happened...it's been almost 4 years. However the things that have happened have not allowed me to reach any of my goals. After 7 months at the mental health center I somehow came out of the depression, rented an apartment and set out to re-invent myself...I have not been very successful at this so I must and want to now do it in another way,,,but I definitely need help and guidance which is why I am writing this.

I have the tools to life plan as my guide which i commit to using...i find it a bit complex and do not know exactly how to use it...yet.

Nov 24th, 2009

I have been depressed for about 12 months...it has led to a bunch of unhappiness. I am fed up...and desire to make a plan to remedy this situation. Money seems to be the main problem since it is necessary in our society. The only formal training I have in order to earn money is card counting at the game of blackjack. The nearest casino is 600 miles away in Montreal. My plan is to leave Gaspe around Dec 1st. I will have about $1400 for travelling, hotels and blackjack. This is below the required minimum

for security...it's gambling...but it could work.

What if it does not work? What if I lose at blackjack and end up broke and alone in the city?

I would like my future to be safe and secure.

I desire to live in Montreal in the year 2010.

I desire to be able to earn my living at the game of blackjack. I desire to take good care of myself...eat and sleep properly and live in a comfortable home. In order to do this I will move to Montreal in dec 09. I will have about $1300 to do this. This is not very much money and quite frankly it makes me feel  insecure.

The only way to do this with so little money is to live at a hotel at about $100/night, and take a minimum of $200 at the blackjack tables every day with the balance of the money.

This is a risky business...I have done it in the passed...but it is risky business.