My depression is improving and I'm grateful for that. There are things I could be doing that would only improve it and many other things in my life but I'm letting myself down. First what I'm doing right, I'm getting out more. I went out to see a speaker, Richard St. John "Stupid Ugly Unlucky and Rich" through our Parks and Rec dept and he was fun to listen to. There are two more speakers I've signed up to see, sponsored through the Penticton Steps Out Program, a walking program through Parks and Rec. In October I'll be seeing "When the Body Says No" with Dr. Gabor Mate, MD and "Reflecting Possibilities Streaming Forward with the Power of Choice" with Jance Otremba.
I'm at the computer in the morning, having coffee in my pajamas. I'm trying to motivate myself to set a time limit as it it something I really enjoy and I am an early riser, I usually up at 5:30-6:00. Then stop at 8:30, have breakfast, shower, put on my makeup and get ready for the day. I've even thought no more time on the computer until after 2:00 p.m. This way I'll start doing other things, walking, exercise, yoga, reading, going out for coffee, housework, being creative, home renovations, visiting a friend, whatever.
Soon I am going to have an opportunity to have access to a gym for free and I want to make that a priority.
I'm also disappointed that I'm not paying the attention I need to in regards to my diet. I just need to start eating 3 healthy meals a day, no eating after dinner, common sense approach, watch portion sizes, etc. I was successful before and know I can be successful again and want to be so why aren't I taking the steps I need to take. I have all these incredible tools on both sites available to me. Why am I sabotaging myself daily by not honoring myself? Respecting myself? Loving myself? I want to feel beautiful again? I want to confident enough about my body and myself that I can go back to the internet sites and have fun meeting new people and I want to meet the man I'm going to spend the rest of my life with. If I want that I'm not going to get that, if I don't take the steps I know I need to take. One day at a time, one moment at a time. Life is too short and life was far too much fun when I felt good about myself. I definitely feel much better about myself when I get ready for the day, putting on my makeup, doing my hair and getting dressed for the day. This has to be my first step for me! To honor me! To show myself I love myself and want to look good for me! Starting today, by 8:30 I'm going to stop, have breakfast and get ready for the day! That is my one primary goal that I'm commiting to permanently from this day forward except for one day a week if I chose not to.
