EmergingButterfly: 2011-01-18

says:

Although I'm not sure whether you are asking how to shine as an individual (to others) when in the presence of a type A personality (a domineering person), or how to deal with those people, I will assume the former. 

First, you need to know what your light is.  Self-confidence, and knowledge of your own self-worth as an individual makes the difference between an overshadowed mouse, and a strong presence (even if you don't speak a word). 

The only control others have over your emotions is the control you give to them.  I know that comment sounds slightly condescending, when you read it, but it is true.  And completely empowering once you own it.  When you take away a person's power to affect your mood, by consciously choosing to respond (or not), instead of reacting instinctively, you have immediately taken control of your outcome away from them and back into your own hands. 

To make a long story short, learn about the difference between responding and reacting, and work on your confidence and self-worth.  Once you begin to master these, you (and others) will begin to see your light shine, even with a dominating presence around. 

(I feel the need to offer this word of caution, though.  If the domineering person is used to controlling your emotions through their words or actions (controlling = manipulating), it's going to annoy them when you begin to take that power back, and they will most likely increase their efforts to wrest it back, and keep you in the place they are comfortable for you to be at.)

Hope that helped. :)

-EB

Green_Raven: 2011-01-13

says:

I am probably not the best person to answer this, as I suffer this a lot with my father. He does dominate the home, creating the mood and being centre of attention. Trouble is, I resist this, and as a result cause a lot of tension and friction in the home, and often a lot of arguing.

Something TOOLS has taught me recently, is to think first, what do you want out of this situation, and how is the best way for you to behave to get the result you want? Then do that.

For example, say you want someone to not do something that irritates you. You don't want an argument, but you don't want this to continue. In order for this to happen, you can take a breath, ask calmly if they could try to make sure they don't do something please as it upsets you. Instead of getting angry, snapping, or yelling at them not to do something. It will mean your relationships run smoother and become more positive.

Hope this helps a little? As you go through TOOLS, he does cover this subject more than once, and will help you find the best way through it.