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sweetnc
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Birth Date: Thu, Oct 02 1975

Place of residence:
Eastern NC, United States (map)

I am: Married

Schools:

Jobs: Cake Decorator/Entepreneur


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Tools Program Stats:
Member Since: 01/12/11
Last Login: 02/02/11
Viewed: 2699
Program in:
Program Progress: Day 2
sweetnc's Challenges:

sweetnc's Participating:
order(everything in its place)
Wake Early in the AM
Quit Smoking
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Areas In My Life I Want To Work On

I Want To Quit Or Control

Skills I Am Interested In

I Suffer From

sweetnc's Life List:
Integrity and Happiness
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Message Board

 

2011-01-13 10:04:18

Green_Raven

Green_Raven

BOOST TO BOOST

Thank you for your lovely blog comment, I am finding it hard. TOOLS is helping, as is your kind support. Thank you for helping me to remember to think of how others are feeling, and not just how I am feeling - it helps to try and understand how others deal with situations too. Thank you. :)

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kelleygirl
kelleygirl
Bouge57
Bouge57
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Ricardo
Ricardo
manda737
manda737
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2011-01-13 14:57:37

r_keffer

r_keffer

BOOST TO BOOST

Boosting you on this fine Thursday, keep checking in to TOOLS, it really helps you move yourself in a positive direction. Welcome aboard :)

2011-01-13 10:06:29

Green_Raven

Green_Raven

BOOST TO BOOST

Welcome to TOOLS, I just saw you're very new here! Best of Luck with TOOLS and everything in your life. Keep going with TOOLS, it will help you with everything in your life! :)

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all questions»

How do you stand in your own light when you live with a dominating person who commands the mood and attention of others regardless of the time and place?

Most popular answers

says:

Although I'm not sure whether you are asking how to shine as an individual (to others) when in the presence of a type A personality (a domineering person), or how to deal with those people, I will assume the former. 

First, you need to know what your light is.  Self-confidence, and knowledge of your own self-worth as an individual makes the difference between an overshadowed mouse, and a strong presence (even if you don't speak a word). 

The only control others have over your emotions is the control you give to them.  I know that comment sounds slightly condescending, when you read it, but it is true.  And completely empowering once you own it.  When you take away a person's power to affect your mood, by consciously choosing to respond (or not), instead of reacting instinctively, you have immediately taken control of your outcome away from them and back into your own hands. 

To make a long story short, learn about the difference between responding and reacting, and work on your confidence and self-worth.  Once you begin to master these, you (and others) will begin to see your light shine, even with a dominating presence around. 

(I feel the need to offer this word of caution, though.  If the domineering person is used to controlling your emotions through their words or actions (controlling = manipulating), it's going to annoy them when you begin to take that power back, and they will most likely increase their efforts to wrest it back, and keep you in the place they are comfortable for you to be at.)

Hope that helped. :)

-EB

What is your answer?

I joined TOOLS because:
 I am interested in making a change for the better, permanently!
You are offered your dream job. What job is it?:
 Cake decorator
My favorite wild animal is:
 One the hibernates
Why (describe as much as possible):
 I love to sleep. Period.
My favorite domestic animal is (if you choose dog be specific with breed etc):
 A cat, no specificity
Why:
 Silently confident, marches to its own drum
A famous Chef will prepare anything you want. What do you order:
 Steak and potatoes
Why:
 Love a rare steak and cant have it without potatoes
Five people either dead or alive you would have at your fantasy dinner party::
 Oprah Sylvia Brown Susan Sarandon Gordon Ramsey Colette Peters
Why:
 I love all of them for their abilities in their crafts and think it would be a FASCINATING dinner with all the different personalities
If a pilot would fly you anywhere you want, you would go to:
 Italy
My perfect slice of pizza is:
 Pizza Margherita
You are at a bar. You order this drink:
 Double Ketel One and Tonic with Lime
You are at a coffee shop. What coffee or tea do you order:
 Starbucks style iced Caramel Macchiato
If a genie could grant you three wishes they would be (separate by commas):
 Eternal excess financial security, eternal happiness, inspire others every day
You are going on a long road trip and you can only bring three CD's. Which ones do you bring (separate by commas):
 Dave Matthews, Country mix, Grateful Dead
If I could do anything for my neighborhood today, it would be:
 Hire a landscaper
A sunset I remember:
 One I painted in watercolor
Any character I could be from a movie, TV show or book would be:
 Oprah
Why:
 She's having fun, living with intention, inspires others and doesn't aappear to have financial trouble