hi i am here to ask a question..
i am unable to give love to my brother and want to ask how?
the situation is.. due to some little problem, we didn't talk alot to each other for 8months and yesterday he cried telling me so.
yesterday i say, okay, it's been 8 months, it's true. you're living me with, sleeping near me and i don't talk to you. but you see you get stronger. take me as a ghost, you know some people don't even have a brother. and i also say, i have total respect for you, it's not that i don't want to talk to you, it's because i don't feel the need to. you are mature now (14 years old, and you are having great sucess), i'm sure you can pull it off
he say, it's been 8 months, and today we've been speaking for more than 5 minutes (starts crying), he say he's crying and i'm not.
that i have a hardhead, and won't talk to him. and that he needs alot of attention, he needs me to talk to him. and finally that he will soon or later not treat me as a brother..
so here i say.. the last time we stop talking.. it's because you didn't want to. it is awkward for me to talk to you again since you requested to be stop talking. i can talk to you, but i talk to you with the things that you can reply easily, without hurting your heart.
obviously, yesterday i felt like i hurted him alot, but tell me.. since i was a child, i was intimidated and i learned to rely on myself, and him needs me, so i say BECOME STRONGER.
solution from his part: he talk to me for the things he needs help with
solution from my part:just talk once a day, if you force me to talk to him, my words will be empty words and fake.
in this world you have great relations of brothers, and very bad too. so right now i am in a very bad situation, and the point that i don't cry because of that, is also sign of very bad.
so now, i want to care, i want to love my brother. but i want to know some reasons why.. a good example is my two aunts never talked to each other and they are all alright.
but i love talking, i care alot for my friends, i have total respect for my mother father and brother. the problem is, something blocks me from transfer the little extra love i am able to give to my friends to my family. notice, i am a very fair person, i use life realities and what is universally normal to answer life questions.
so yeah sorry for the long text, i just wanna know how but tell me why also, coz it will convince me more to do something if i have some strong reasons
comments
says: wow! i will try my best..
thank you alot for your time and your answer!
says:
It's very nice to realize how this is affecting both of you, some people just don't care... but you are here to find a solution that means you care.... caring does not mean crying by the way..
I was facing the same problem with my sister, till I found these magic solutions, you may use one or use them all, but when using one of them do it honestly with no fake agree??
ok let's find out the solutions :
- Find common interest for both of you, may be that's why you like being with your friends because you have common interests to talk about, in my case I got a new language course with my sister and that made a miracle.
-Not crying does not mean that you do not have love for him or that you do not care for him, it's just sometimes it feels ok when things remain speechless.. so try to break the silence by telling him a funny story or something you liked about ur day... in my case I played the High-Low game that you tell what the best thing you have in ur day and what is the worst thing.
-Gifts are amazing really, give him a simple gift and he is going to remember it forever.
-Find out what he wishes for something to have or some place to visit and give it to him.
-Do not spend more than 3 days not talking with each other, as Prophet Muhammed said "Is not permissible to forsake your brother over the three nights", and this is because the more you are away from each other the more you may think this is ok ... while it's not ok.
-Greet each other with good morning, good evening, how was your day, good night , sweet dreams etc.
-Be his secret keeper and have each other's trust that will make the distance between both of you be shorter in very short time.
Have a nice life you and your brother.