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thespecialest
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Birth Date: Wed, Sep 29 1971

Place of residence:
edmonton alberta, United States (map)

I am: Single & Dating

Schools: U.W.O (Grad School)

Jobs: Musician/Teacher/small business owner


Certificates:
Tools Program Stats:
Member Since: 01/31/09
Last Login: 01/01/10
Viewed: 1959
Program in:
Program Progress: Day 1
thespecialest's Challenges:

thespecialest's Participating:
PFR Challenge
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Tools Goal List:

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I Suffer From

thespecialest's Life List:
Succeed in life, love and relationships and stp viewing pornography!
Be stable and loved in a loving and real and good relationship that shares in the beauty of life, love, music, creativity, movement, health, food, and honesty!
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Message Board

 

2009-02-01 00:10:34

thespecialest

thespecialest

BOOST TO BOOST

looking to kick the habit! no more porn!

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djjuno
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2009-03-17 19:11:56

BOOST TO BOOST

Success in all your dreams. :)

2009-02-14 03:45:57

Gary_R

Gary_R

BOOST TO BOOST

Boost! Try the book "Breaking free of the Co-Dependency Trap".

thespecialest 's Support Groups:
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    As a career musician who has been playing the guitar for 27 of my 37 years, I have spent a LOT of time alone. I had but 1 short term girlfriend in High school as all i really needed/wanted to do was play and practice and listen to music. Anything else just kept me down. I went on to 8 years of Music school in university and Graduate school where I spent even more time alone though I had started to mix dating and social activities into my life.

By this time, the Co-Dependent cycle was fixed. I needed and wanted to have someone to love me, someone to love in return and sometimes i did, but I was never really goosd at seeing it through. Had a short marriage at 25 and have not had a relationship that lasted longer than, oh say, 7 months since then, though more like 3 to 5 months without turbulence of some kind or another.

Life is generally good. Planning a move to Victoria B.C. soon to be with my greatest love of my life and to be in a place that is as close to a paradise as we get here in canada.

I am here to gain control over my habits and concerns, pornography, co-dependency and fears of success and failure and being alone.

 

  I am a small business owner, I started my own music school a year and a half ago and I make every dollar that i earn being creative and musical, life could be worse, though sometimes I crave an outlet where I can build or haul or deliver something and get an actual work out while I do my work, either way, it's a pretty good life, I have great love but I feel isolated too much of the time.

I joined TOOLS because:
 To gain a support network and a personal routine to help me kick a growing addiction to pornography. And to change some other habits in my life like procrastination and self-image.
You are offered your dream job. What job is it?:
 I already have it: professional musician. the only thing I would change, and which I am changing, is that it be happening in Victoria B.C.
My favorite wild animal is:
 Though I think it is probably the cat family over all, it has become the hawk as well as of late.
Why (describe as much as possible):
 The sophistication and complexity and confidence and grace and poise of cats is a wonder, I love everything about them. The Hawk has become important to me as a Totem as their characteristic trait is FOCUS, something I very much need in my life.
My favorite domestic animal is (if you choose dog be specific with breed etc):
 You guessed it: Cats.
Why:
 see above, plus they are cute and cuddly and give love and mine is the world's best. All my girlfriends have felt an incredible bond with my cat, she is a very special animal, a survivor!
A famous Chef will prepare anything you want. What do you order:
 an amazing seafood curry that i can share with my lover, who happens to be allergic to seafood. She can however eat shellfish. go to town, make it a yellow curry with a mango chutney and make it an aphrodisiac as well!
Why:
 I have never eaten a dish that makes me feel more like I've just had amazing sex than a seafood curry, plus i want to be able to share it with my girl!
Five people either dead or alive you would have at your fantasy dinner party::
 William T. Vollmann, David Foster Wallace, John Coltrane, Jesus and Judas
Why:
 ... ... ? ... ...
If a pilot would fly you anywhere you want, you would go to:
 Victoria B.C., Canada
My perfect slice of pizza is:
 Not the one I am eating right now; ) Famoso in Edmonton, Prosciuto and caramelized Onions with honey and pepper. (My recipe).
You are at a bar. You order this drink:
 red Wine, Jack, Bourbon or Scotch and a bit of Ice. depends on how i feel.
You are at a coffee shop. What coffee or tea do you order:
 half caffeine brewed coffee or decaf with a chot of full strength espresso.
If a genie could grant you three wishes they would be (separate by commas):
 To be in Victoria beside my true love right now, to be confident in my path, to be free of habits that keep me down, i.e. pornography and co-dependency.
You are going on a long road trip and you can only bring three CD's. Which ones do you bring (separate by commas):
 Ryan Adams mix (or Cold Roses) Elliot Smith anything and Not So Soft by Ani Difranco
If I could do anything for my neighborhood today, it would be:
 Plan a sidewalk concert for the spring thaw
A sunset I remember:
 flying into victoria 2 weekends ago, seeing the sun cresting the water and providing relief of the island against the horizon. Knowing that I was going to be seeing my lover in less than an hour!
Any character I could be from a movie, TV show or book would be:
 Stronger than who I am, emotionally! and loved and stable, I don't know who this is. I know I do NOT want to be the Wrestler. I loved that movie but I would've gone with Marissa Tomei in a friggin heart beat!!!
Why:
 I want to be better and stronger than I am.