Member Since: 01/01/70
Last Login: 12/16/09
Program Progress: Day 92
Oliver, I lost my sister in March and am now losing my best friend to cancer. Your advice is good.
Oliver,This is late but the support is there. You are so right about the taken granted for. I admire your advice. God bless you and yours in this new year 2007. We all have new friends through Tools and the power within each of us to make this year the best ever.Thank you for your being here to help us.Gary
Oliver there is empathy and compassion which are not pity or sympathy but just...connecting with someone because we have a similar kind of pain or loss. So from that space I want to say how deeply sorry I am that you have this loss.
It sounds like she was a beautiful joy in your life. The more joy someone gives us, the bigger the hole they leave when they are gone.
Consider thinking of some specific things people can do for and with you. It heals everyone, to be able to do something. We all know it's lame to just say, "i'm sorry." Whether it's food or poetry or taking you out or sitting with you in silence. Or just listening to some stories about the person you loved. If it was me I love photographs so I'd ask people to bring me a picture they have of the person. Some people would rather just have a ton of work to do or a project to work on.
I guess I'm just saying...give people a way to be there for and with you. If you want to. Like you did here. Letting us know. It's a way to allow them to actively care for and about you. And comfort their own grief, if they knew her. Wordbird
I can understand your feelings of lose, having lost most of my family. The thing that I find that helps me the most is to remember to good/great time we shared together. Be happy that you have those memories. Be supportive of your partner as it is very hard to lose a mother at that young age. I lost mine when I was 30, so I know the feeling.
Know that you and Tracy will be in my prayers