Estrella14:

WOW!

Well done for being so bluntly honest with yourself, its one of the hardest things to do, especially without judgement, as you have done!!! It is also the first step to better days!!!

All the best! 

seaside_barbie:

Thank you for your post

I was also really touched by your honesty here. Tracie, you know, I think that society puts a lot of pressure on all of us to feel unhappiness where we shouldn't. I have no doubt that your husband adores you - he just shows it in different ways to the traditional obligatory celebration of celebrations.

I know more girls than I can count, whose husbands refuse to buy them gifts on valentines day. Why? because they think its commercial rubbish. If I were them , how would I feel? I don't know - but I think that a relationship is more wonderful and complicated, ultimately, than who remembers what important date.

Wishing you the very best

tra_smiley:

Better days with the advice of friends...

Just thought I should give a brief update so that those of you so kind to support my post wouldn't be left hanging.

Indeed small steps to better days. 

I did two things to remind my husband I need to be a priority.  One direct (brutally hard for me to do) and the other was indirect (hit him from both directions is a little trick I picked up in martial arts;)

First I sat down with him when he came back from the race track and had him read this blog.  He was actually in a really good space when he finished.  I can't thank you two for you constructive input it helped him see this was not an attack or a demand for instant change.  So after a long discussion about taking things for granted, we both decided to make the effort to appreciate the great marriage we have.  We also decided to spend the weekend at out trailer.  It is a 1957 Glendale that is 8'X14'.  No escaping the person your with in our trailer. 

A side note the lovely older couple we bought the trailer from spent every weekend in there with their 4 girls!  Heck our trailer is so small even the rodents won't winter there.  They pick the larger newer trailers.  I can't imagine 6 people.  It is so small.  That is one tight knit family.  One great family for sure.

The great thing about the trailer is it is 2 blocks from the sandy shores of Lake Huron; recognized for the 3rd best sun sets in the world by National Geographic!  So there were walks on the beach, sunsets, the best steak dinner I've ever BBQ'ed, campfires...  Oh and guitars.

That was my indirect way to get higher on his list.  We don't have much common hobbies.  So when I had started playing my brothers guitar and noticed he was curious I thought this was my chance.  So the Friday prior to our weekend get-away I bought my own so that we could both learn.

Worked like a charm.  We were up late last night playing (well kind of playing (poor neighbours)).  Usually he would be surfing the net watching motor bike races, chatting to bike buddies online or worst checking out adult sites (whole other issue).  But voila not the last few nights.  We have dates with each other and our guitars.

Now it isn't gonna be a smooth ride.  He has already slipped back into his zone by booking the long Canadian weekend at the track.  But as I had said I didn't help him know what I needed for a very long time.  His steady nature is what I love about him so I know once we find our groove he will be strong and consistent.

So thanks again for your support all!